


To The Only Boy I've Loved Before

by LadyVisenya



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - To All the Boys I've Loved Before Fusion, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gen, M/M, SO MUCH PINNING, basically i watched the movie and wrote this, bi disaster theo raeken, bi scott mccall, theo's sick in this since tara's alive
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-07-06 15:36:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15888951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyVisenya/pseuds/LadyVisenya
Summary: Theo Raeken keeps a journal full of love letters addressed to his best friend Liam Dunbar. A journal that goes missing and things just snowball from there.To All The Boys I've loved Before au.





	1. worst first day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theo still has his heart condition in this since Tara's alive.

Tara is leaving for college which means Theo’s number of friends in school went down from three to two. And Tracy didn’t even count. She was way more Tara’s girl friend then she was Theo’s friend after they spent all of last year going on dates, which they had him tag along to out of pity, and sucking face which Theo really wished he’d been spared.

Not that he wasn’t happy for his sister and Tracy, but he kind of hated being the perpetual third wheel and seeing as Liam had made first line in lacrosse, Theo had no one else to hang out with.

“Are you sure you don’t want to pick a closer college,” Theo asked, laying down on his sister’s bed. Most of the things that had made this her room were all packed. The posters of queen and harry styles had been rolled up and donated. The many prints of art she’d bought had been packed up and recycled. Tara loved new beginnings. It was no surprised she’d chosen a college on the other side of the country.

She laughed while trying to close her over stuffed suitcase, “a bit late for that. Besides college, like high school, is a time to reinvent yourself. No one knows who you were back home so you can be whoever you want to be. A fresh start. Now come sit on this suitcase while I close it.”

He obliged, scowling, “I’m pretty sure this counts as physical exercise and I’m not supposed to-,”

“God you’re such a little shit,” she said, eyes twinkling as she smacking his knee.

“Fuck off Tara. I don’t want to have a bruise there in the morning.”

“You can lie and say you got in a fight,” she says with a smirk, waggling her eyebrows. “All girls like bad boys.”

He scowled. “God. Now who am I going to sit with? I hate being held back a year. If I was a senior I could just get out early.”

“Theo,” his sister says, voice heavy with pity, pity he hates, “I’m sure Tracy would love having you. She doesn’t have many friends either.”

“Great. The only person who’ll sit with me is my sister’s girlfriend.”

“There’s that Liam kid you’re always talking to.”

“He’s been M.I.A on me all summer. We hung out like once and then he sort of stopped replying,” he tells her as he bounces on the suitcase, trying to help Tara force it shut.

“Can you just try to make friends? I mean, fuck Theo, don’t you want to look back on your time in high school fondly.” The suitcase finally clicks shut.

“Yeah. I don’t have friends because I want to be a huge loser.”

“You know I didn’t mean it like that, right?”

“Yeah,” Theo says, because it’s Tara, she’s been dragging him along with her since people stopped invited Theo to birthday parties in elementary school, “I know.”

*

_Dear Liam,_

_I don’t know why we aren’t talking. I know I try to act like I don’t get lonely but I do. And I hate needing people more than I already do. But it’s you and it doesn’t feel the same. It’s not pity, you actually want me around. I want to be around you. You always make me laugh and you don’t know how many times when we’ve played bioshock for the hundredth and you’ve laughed at something I said I’ve wanted to lean over, brush the hair out of your eyes (you need a haircut Liam) and kiss you._

_But I don’t._

_I don’t want to ruin our friendship. Not when it means so much to me. You’re kind of my only friend, now that Tara’s stolen Tracey not that I would ever say or mean that but it still feels that way. And I wouldn’t want my own dumb fantasies to get in the way of that._

_I don’t even know if you like guys but it is twenty sixteen and everyone’s a little bi. . .right?_

*

“You’re late,” Tracy says as she hops into his truck. It had taken a lot of convincing but his parents had finally relented and let him learn to drive. “Taken you’re meds yet?”

“Yes mom,” he says with an eye roll, before smiling, “I’m assuming you’ve already read through all your textbooks.”

“Shut up. I like being prepared. I’m trying to get into Columbia so I can be near Tara. Do you have any clue how hard Columbia is to get into?”

He shakes his head, “don’t you have a 4.0 gpa?”

“So does everyone who’s applying!”

“You lesbians really do just u.haul don’t you.”

Tracey looks up from her book, _A People’s History of Latin America,_ glaring at him, “it’s not fair that I can’t hit you because I so would right now you asshole!”

“You know you love me,” Theo replies, laughing as he pulls into the school parking lot, not bothering to make use of his handicap pass. 

“Only because you’ll drive me to school.”

“Ouch, Tracy, you’ve broken my heart.”

She flinches, like most people do, when hearts or death or illness are mentioned around him. Three years of friendship and she still can’t get over it.

Theo ignores it.

“You have AP Stats right after lunch right,” she says, changing the subject. They had planned to have one class together since she was a senior and graduating this year like Theo _should_ be.

“Yeah, with Mr. Douglas.”

“Okay, just making sure. Meet you in the library,” Tracy says, her backpack making a thud as she shoves it into her locker, only taking her binder and pencil case with her.

“Our usual table,” he smirks.

“Got to mark our territory early,” she states, dragging him along on her way to first period.

“Well yeah,” he says, smirking, “it’s the only place in the library well hidden enough to eat in.”

“God, you monster,” Tracy says, laughing, before they each head their separate ways.

*

_Dear Liam,_

_I stopped sending you texts because I didn’t want to seem desperate. Not because I stopped thinking about you. I could never stop thinking about you._

_Whenever something stupid or funny happened to me, you were the first person I wanted to tell._

_And at night, I just wanted to hear from you. Even a quick ok._

_You better have a really good excuse Dunbar because I’m crippled so you have to be nice to me._

*

“Mind if I sit here,” Scott says, actually waiting for his response, hovering above the seat next to him. Oh, Scott McCall, lacrosse captain and one of the most popular kids in school. Also, his first kiss, back in middle school when Theo hadn’t been held back a year at one of Lydia Martin’s parties.

He had been in her homeroom that year, and since she'd invited everyone in homeroom, he'd gone.

It had been when they played spin the bottle, Tracy choosing not to play, and the bottle pointed at both of them. His hands had gone clammy but Scott had just smiled and leaned into him, a quick peck of his lips against Theo’s as Jackson and Danny had whistled.

His first and only kiss.

“Yeah go for it man,” Theo says.

“I was going to try sitting in the front but I’m chickening out. She’ll just stared at me like the fact I barely passed regular bio in freshman year is written on my face or something,” Scott says, finally taking a seat as the bell rings. “But Lydia said she’d tutor me and Allison already made me a bunch of flashcards.” His smile turns fond and soft as he talks as he mentions his girlfriend of four years. Current rumor is that they’re getting married right after they graduate.

Even his slightly crooked jaw is hot.

“So why are you in AP Bio if you’re not that good at it?”

“I want to go to Davis for pre-med and this was recommended by the school counselor Monroe who hates my guts. Like, why even become a school counselor if you’re gonna hate all teenagers? I swear she hated me more than Victoria and Gerard combined when I go over to Allison’s.”

“That’s really cool,” Theo lies, hating any and all doctors by association. Liam’s step dad was exempt of course, but still.

“Thanks man,” Scott replied before they both looked up as the teacher went on, starting her hundred slide presentation.

His hand cramped up before the class was over.

*

_Dear Liam,_

_You could have at least texted me back. I always do. Even when I’m laying in a hospital bed, half dead. Then you’d find out, either from your dad or from me slipping up in a text and run over on your bike that’s slightly skewed ever since you through it during an episode along with the best food in the world, donuts and mcdonalds, sneaking it in under you’re jacket._

_I like to pretend that you were sneaking into my room because you’re my boyfriend and not just a good friend._

*

Fucking Liam Dunbar. The only person in Theo’s life who didn’t treat him like he was made of glass. Liam who Theo had been pretty much in love with since they’d become friends. It had been so easy to fall for Liam.

So of course he had gotten a girlfriend. And not just any girl. It was Hayden Romero who he had spent the entirety of last year complaining to him and Mason about. Soccer star and bane of Liam’s high school existence.

The girl who had poured a milkshake over Liam’s head on two separate occasions. Theo had been the one to help Liam clean up both times, helping Liam was the gooey strawberry conception out in the bathroom, Liam’s head going as much under the faucet as he could.

He’d stuck a finger in the mess coating Liam’s shirt and sucked it, tasting the milkshake, making Liam laugh so hard he’d hit his head on the faucet, which had only made them both laugh harder.

And now that same Liam was busy trailing after Hayden like a lost puppy.

It was disgusting.

“He disappear on you too,” Mason said, appearing by his side as they both watched their mutual friend disappear around a corner.

“Pretty much.”

“God,” Mason said, shaking his head, “what a complete dick. I texted him a hundred times, even tried to tempt him with going to some dumb history exhibit and nothing. Shit ain’t cool man.”

“Don’t you have a boyfriend too,” Theo says, furrowing a brow as he looks over at the other boy.

“Corey and yes, but I didn’t fall of the face of the world when we started dating at the end of last year.”

Theo remembers Corey. A quiet boy who’d mostly talked to Mason and listened to them all talk. He’d sort of just appeared one day. Theo might have been a bit more preoccupied with Liam to pay much attention.

“What class do you have next?”

“APush with Mrs. Argent.”

“God she’s terrifying,” Mason remarks, “I heard she makes at least one person cry in her class every year.”

“Have you had her yet,” Theo asks, trying to remember why he’d thought signing up for APush was a good idea.

“No. I have her next too. I’d say sit together but she seems like one of those teachers that has assigned seating.”

“I’ll just play the deathly ill and could die any second card,” Theo offers as they walk to class together, “that always works.”

“That’s messed up Theo.”

He shrugs. It’s not like pretending it wasn’t true would make the problem go away. He might as well use it as much to his own advantage as he could.

Mrs. Argent ends up having open seating.

He sits next to Mason.

*

_Dear Liam,_

_I know you hate when I talk about dropping dead. You never say anything but you get this look on your face, like I kicked a puppy in front of you. It’s adorable._

_But I can’t help myself._

_Tara hates when I talk about dying too._

_But it’s true. I am dying. Faster than most people._

_I shouldn’t have been such a coward. I don’t have the time for that. I should have let the controlled fall right out of my hand and kissed you, run my fingers through your hair and held you close._

_I love you, you idiot._

*

The universe hates Theo Raeken. He’s known that since he was old enough to understand that he was sick. Terminally.

But it must have really wanted to rub it in because Hayden’s locker is right next to his. Something he hadn’t know until he went to go get his stats textbook out of his locker to find Hayden and Liam caught up in their own little bubble, making out like they weren’t in school.

Wasn’t PDA banned in school?

He coughs to get their attention.

They don’t notice.

“As much as I’d love to let you two continue to suck face I really need to get stuff from my locker,” he says, looking smug as shit.

The pair spring apart, Hayden looking annoyed while Liam only looks sheepish, his hand running through his hair, a nervous habit of his. It was supposed to replace his other tick, which was pressing his nails so hard into his hands that they bled.

He knew because he’d noticed before Liam had even said anything about it.

He always noticed Liam.

“Hey Theo,” Liam says, smiling obliviously, “didn’t see you much this summer.”

Theo feels a surge of anger run through him. He could punch Liam right now. He’d get away with it too because no one would hit a dying man. And everyone would feel too sorry for him to give him detention.

“My locker,” he says instead, motioning to the locker Liam is standing by.

“Oh, yeah, sure. See you around Theo.”

“Yeah,” he replies, he jaw aching from how tense he feels, fingers griping his binder harder than necessary.

“Theo,” Hayden utters, before leading Liam away.

“Hayden.”

He opens his locker when they’ve gone, shoves his everything he doesn’t need in, grabs his textbook, swallows the little blue pills that run his life and goes to his last class for the day where Tracey’s already saved him a seat.

“I know you like to sit in the back but,” Tracy explains as he sits down, “the middle is better. One, you aren’t written off as a slacker right away. Two, you blend in better. And three, you’re by me.”

“The third one doesn’t count.” Theo states, opening up his notebook as the rest of the class files in.

Tracy rolls her eyes, “I saved you a seat didn’t I? And therefore also saved you from the panicked choosing of partners for any project.”

“Thought that was a given.”

“It might not be now that you’ve insulted me,” she huffs as Mr. Douglas passed out the syllabus. “So how was your boyfriend? Did he explain why he ghosted you all summer?”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Theo mutters, feeling annoyed at the thought of Liam and Hayden. “And he got a girlfriend.”

“That sucks,” she whispers back.

“Tell me about it.”

*

He goes to write in his journal, ready to vent after his terrible first day as school. And finds it missing. Gone. Not there.

It’s not in his truck. Theo double checked.

Not anywhere in his room, that he tore apart while looking. He’d emptied out his backpack just in case it was there after all but no dice.

His journal, his most private thoughts and confessions to Liam Dunbar was gone.

His heartbeat raced, thundering in his ribcage like a scratched CD, chest constricting as he tried to calm down. The last thing he wanted was a night in the hospital.

So of course he fainted.

Did he mention what a shitty first day of school this had been?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts?  
> hmu on tumblr @ elektranxtchiios maybe?


	2. takis and aggressive avoidance

“I’m fine,” he mutters through clenched teeth as his mom and dad run into the room. “Really I’m fine.”

“Theodore,” his mother sighs, “I’d really feel better if someone looked you over.” She’s never been able to get the sight of her baby boy laying in a hospital bed with an IV as a child.

“I really don’t want to miss more school.”

“He’ll be all right,” his father says, mediating, “and if anything happens at night we’ll go to the ER right Theo.”

“Yeah,” he says, knowing better than to disagree. Theo hates going to the ER. He already knows whats wrong with him, it’s not like going will change that.

“You should get in bed and rest,” his mom says, sitting on the corner of his bed, her hand brushing back is hair, sticky with sweat. “Just take it easy.”

“I will.”

“Come on Maggie,” his dad says, taking his mother along with him. “Let the boy rest.”

They don’t close the door.

After his parents calm down and leave, he also convinces himself that his journal is in his locker. That’s all.

He just forgot it at school, safe.

It’s all fine.

Just the journal he takes everywhere and no one knows about. His most personal thoughts.

He just wants it back in his hands.

*

His journal was not in his locker.

*

Theo sat in the bleachers while the rest of the class walked laps. The varsity across team was already starting up practice, running laps around his P.E. class. Everyone hated P.E. and this was one thing he was more than happy to miss out on, his mind currently trying to think of where else his journal could be.

He was so careful with it, the leather had turned into a nice patina as the years had gone by, his fingers running over it to calm down. It had just been something a therapist had suggested back when his mom had decided some therapy might do him some good because she’d read it on some online forum and Theo had gone along with it because he’d been too tired to protest.

Freshman year and he’d already missed a month, spending it an isolation room, his body too weak to even fight a common cold.

And now he’d lost it. Anyone could read it.

Theo had never been more glad that he hadn’t written his name in it, but as soon as Liam read it he’d know. Of course he’d know.

And then Theo really would die,

of mortification.

Theo tried to work on his heavy load of textbook reading instead, finding it very hard to concentrate on how the fist colonies were established in north america when that journal was out there.

Maybe it would just get thrown out and Liam would never see it.

Who even cares about the quakers anymore? They were probably all gone because who would want to live as a nun when you could have boba tea and takis and watch netflix all day.

All the artery clogging food he wasn’t allowed.

Theo gave up on his textbook, looking up instead, hoping class was almost over. He had too many thoughts racing through his head and no clue what to do about any of it.

Liam Dunbar was walking towards him, a familiar leather bound journal in hand.

_Oh shit._

_Oh shit._

The universe really did hate him.

Like a coward, Theo picked up his backpack and hauled ass to get away from Liam. He really didn’t want to deal with that. Not now, maybe not ever.

Theo hurried, his chest burning with anxiety and effort as he speed walked away from Liam how as steadily gaining on him. In his rush to put as much distance between him and Liam, he didn’t watch where he was going and walked right into Scott McCall who was casually jogging, not even breaking a sweat.

“You okay there Theo,” Scott asked, his hand reaching out to steady Theo, warm even through the fabric of his sweater. Theo was always too cold, downright freezing in class.

“Sorry,” he muttered, looking behind him at Liam who was still coming towards him. Two months of radio silence and now he wants to talk. Asshole.

“You don’t look so good dude,” Scott says, “I know bio’s rough but that’s just another level.”

Theo laughs, “APush actually.”

Scott smiles, laughing along with him, “I didn’t even attempt that. I’m not so good with dates and names.”

“Theo,” Liam called out behind him.

Panicked, Theo chooses the lesser of two evils. He pulls the taller boy towards him and kisses him, his hands shaking as they grip Scott’s solid chest, muscles tensing under him.

Scott does not kiss him back. His eyes wide with surprise, confusion coloring his face.

Theo doesn’t give him time to recover before taking off, running against his better judgement, glad that Liam at least, has stopped following him.

God, he was so fucked.

It was the only thing he could think as he ran into the bathroom, looking himself in the stall as he tried to calm down. Already he’d fainted last night, He didn’t need another ER visit. Another ambulance called to take him away.

His hands were shaking and sweat covered his skin.

What had he just done!

The door opened with a tell tale creak. Theo braced himself to be yelled at by Scott. He’d have to find another lab partner now.

“Theo,” Corey calls out, “you in here?”

“Yeah,” Theo whispers, the echo carrying his voice out. “I’m here.”

“I saw you run in here after . . .well,” he trails off, clearly feeling as confused as Theo does.

“Yeah,” he mutters, opening the stall door and coming out. Corey’s standing in the middle of the bathroom awkwardly, his expression marred by concern.

“What was that about?”

“Just something really really stupid.”

“Oh Theo,” Corey responds, “I think it was kind of cute. I don’t even know you two were gay? bi? I mean I thought you liked Malia.”

He shrugs. “Like I said, it was stupid. I didn’t think it through. Scott’s going to hate me.”

“He won’t hate you,” Corey says, “I’m sure he was just surprised. You two just need to talk. And you’ve got to tell me and Mason all the details about when this started because we both know Mason won’t rest until he knows.”

Theo flushed, realizing Corey is reading this all wrong, but unwilling to humiliate himself further for the day. He’s at his limit.

“Can we talk later though,” Theo mutters, wanting to escape and find Tracy and maybe fall into a hole and die. He’s never coming back to school. They can’t make him.

First Liam, now Scott.

“Yeah,” Corey says with a smile, “just don’t be a stranger. Bring Tracy along. We could all eat together now that Liam’s too busy with Hayden and his Lacrosse buddies and Tracy and Tara aren’t too busy making out in the art room.”

Theo grimaces, “Mason must be pissed.”

“Oh he is. I mean they’ve been best friends since elementary and now Liam’s just ditched us all.”

“See you later then,” Theo says sulking off.

*

“How is it only the second day of school,” Tracy says as Theo settles down into his usual seat across from her, “and we already have so many essays and projects?”

“Probably because you looked at the syllabus and decided to do everything ahead of time,” Theo said with a smirk, glad that some things never changed.

“You’ll be sorry when I have nothing to do and you’re swamped with assignments,” Tracey said, her smile all teeth. “And what’s this about I heard about you snogging Scott McCall?”

Theo groans. “Not you too.” He lays his head against the table.

“Okay. We don’t have to talk about it if you don't want to.” Tracy pulls out her lunch, consisting of hummus and veggies and a bag of contraband takis that she shares with him. “but we’re still on for the Studio Ghibli fest next friday right?”

“I hate Totoro. You know this.”

“I don’t get why. He’s adorable.” Tracy pulls out her notes, meticulously recopying them into her actual notebook.

“He’s terrifying and should be seen as such. Did no one else care when it like. . .that movie is so messed up don’t even get me started on the cat bus.”

“I get the cat bus,” Tracy admits, “but Totoro is adorable. I mean look at the plushes and also incoming.” She ducks her head, pretending to be consumed by her work.

Theo looks up as Scott stands awkwardly by their table, his big dopey smile in place as usual. “Hey Theo can we talk?”

How could he refuse. It’s Scott. There’s a reason he’s so popular and it’s not just because he’s the lacrosse captain in a town that worships lacrosse.

“Sure,” he says getting up and following Scott away from Tracy and safety. They stand by the encyclopedias where no one ever comes to now that the internets a thing.

“Listen, I’m flattered and all,”

Oh, Theo thinks, cutting Scott off, “I get it you’re not into guys. It’s fine. Just-,”

“No,” Scott says, smiling, “it’s not that. Like at all. But.” He frowns, brow furrowing and looking serious for once. “I just broke up with Allison and I’m not ready for anything right now.”

Theo wants the ground to swallow him up. “It’s not what you think.”

“It’s not,” Scott says, head tilted as he looks down at Theo, “you kissed me man. That’s some pretty obvious shit that even I’m aware of.”

“Yeah but,” Theo sighs, “Liam was coming over and I didn’t want to talk to him.”

Scott snorts, “you must have really not wanted to talk to him then.”

Theo winces. No matter what he does, this mess just gets more tangled. “It’s complicated.”

“Then tell me,” Scott says gently,his focus settling on Theo like they’re in their own little world. “You owe me that much at least.”

So he does, because Scott radiates warmth and caring and safety and Theo really wants to tell someone. “I wrote a journal. To Liam about how much I love him and he accidentally got it and I want to die a little inside whenever I think about confronting him. So I just kissed you. It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“That’s so fucked up,” Scott finally says. “But Theo, you should just talk to him. Clear things up or at least explain and hear him out. I know you guys are close. I’m sure it’ll all work out and you’ll move past this.”

“You keeping tabs on me McCall,” Theo smirks, never one to resist being a complete asshole.

Scott shrugs, “I know Liam. And we used to be close when we were kids. Or I guess you could pretend to be sick which should be easy for you and avoid him. I used to pretend to be sick back when I had really bad asthma so I could be there for Stiles when his mom was dying. I felt bad for putting my mom through it, but Stiles is my best friend.”

“God Scott,” Theo scoffs, but can’t help smiling conspiratorially at him, “that’s terrible.”

Scott chuckles, “I know. My mom caught on pretty fast.”

The lunch bell rings and Theo finds himself getting walked to his class with Scott in an easy silence. Not even having realized he’d spent most of lunch talking with the other boy.

*

Theo is sitting on his porch swing reading the same page for the millionth time and trying to match it up with what he knows to figure out his stats problem, number six, that he’s been on for the past thirty minutes when Scott McCall pulls up to his house on his motorcycle.

He’s wearing a jean jacket, hair wet like he’d just showered. He smiles as soon as he spots Theo, waving over to him.

It’s hot. The sliver of tan skin thats exposed as he takes his helmet off and walks up to Theo and the hint of his happy trail, smiling casually down at him.

Theo needs a cold shower asap.

“Hey,” Scott says, “Sorry I didn’t text you earlier but I don’t have your number,” looking sheepish as he stands on the porch.

“It’s okay but how do you know where I live? You really are keeping tabs on me aren't you McCall?”

Scott laughs, flush creeping into his face as he does, “No. Nothing like that. I remembered where you lived back from elementary and then I just asked Stiles if he knew if you still lived here.”

“That nosy shit,” Theo says because everyone knows that whenever something’s happening Stiles is either there, or already knows about it.

“Yeah, he’s like that. An FBI shoe-in for sure,” Scott says, beaming out pride.

“Or a future Walter White.”

Scott laughs, leaning into his space as he confesses “he has a crime board.”

“Lord help us all,” Theo replies drily.

He shakes his head as he chuckles . “So listen,” Scott says.

“I thought we were cool McCall.”

“We are but Allison heard about our kiss and got so jealous so I was thinking maybe we could continue this. . .I mean that would get Liam off your back. And if Allison’s jealous then that means she still cares and we could get back together.”

“You mean,” Theo reiterates, “like pretend to date. You know how crazy that sounds.”

Scott shrugs shamelessly, “it’s just a thought. I mean that way we both get what we want.”

“Sounds like you get more than me.”

The taller boy duck his head away from Theo, “it was just a thought. but it’s cool if you say no. No hard feelings.”

Scott is unbelievably kind. Theo had never forgotten that over the years. Not even when he’d resented Scott for leaving him behind to be popular and a star athlete. 

It’s a terrible idea.

But it’s not as bad as talking to Liam.

“Okay.”

“Seriously,” Scott says grinning.

“Yes,” Theo sighs, closing his textbook, “but we need some ground rules.

“Wanna talk about it over some milkshakes. I just got out of practice so I’m starving.”

“Milkshakes? Are you trying to kill me McCall?”

Scott smiles, choking down a laugh as he helps Theo take his things inside. Not being weird about Theo joking about his condition at all which was high praise as far as Theo was concerned.

“My bike or your truck?”

Theo’s not about to miss what could be his only opportunity to ride a motorcycle so he says, “your bike, duh.”

Scott snorts, handing Theo his helmet, “just hold on to me.”

Theo does, laughing as the wind hits his face, deliriously happy to be treated normally for once. Like he really is a boy dating another boy, going out for milkshakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> scott is so freaking hard to write. like i dont know how he would react or behave,, so i guess i hope i did him justice.


	3. first fake boyfriend

“So ground rules,” Scott prompts, putting the ball firmly in Theo’s court, as he takes a bite out of his burger.

“No kissing,” Theo states, bringing up a forkful of carne asada fries up to his mouth.

“You can’t be serious,” Scott protests, all mock affronted with the bewildering look that is all Scott,“you kissed me, remember. And no one’s going to believe we’re dating if we don’t ever kiss.”

“No kissing,” Theo insists, “Non negotiable.”

“Can I ask why?”

“I’ve never had a boyfriend. When I kiss my first boyfriend, I want it to be for real. I know it sounds stupid but like I said, non negotiable.”

“It’s not stupid,” Scott says smiling fondly. “Okay then, but we need alternatives,” Scott says, full of understanding as always, “we can hold hands. I’ll carry your books for you. Can I hug you? Put my arm around you? I’m a very touch-feely guy even with my friends.”

“Yeah,” Theo tells him, chuckling as Scott nudges his leg under the table. “but you have to sit with my friends. I’m not ditching Tracy.”

“Of course not, you guys are close. Why don’t you just sit with us?”

“No.” Theo’s not sitting that close to Liam and Hayden and Liam’s new friends.

“Okay, but you’re coming to my games and you have to hang with me and Stiles on the saturdays. It used to be our thing but now he’s being gross about my cousin Derek ever since he got back from college and it’s so embarrassing to watch.”

“Cock-blocking your Stiles,” Theo raises a brow.

“Non negotiable,” Scott says smiling as he throws his words back at Theo and steals some of his fries. “Oh and we never tell anyone that this was all pretend.”

Theo rolls his eyes. “Obviously. First rule of fight club.”

“First rule of what?”

“Fight club,” Theo says in disbelief, he’s pretty sure every guy’s had a fight club phase, “you know. With Brad Pitt?”

“Oh,” Scott says, “I’m more of a dumb action movie guy. Like Spy or the Mission Impossible movies. Don’t judge me, but I’ve always had a thing for Tom Cruise since watching Cocktail.”

Theo laughs at the dopey look Scott gets whoever he talks about something he likes which happens a lot. He’s an easy going guy, easy to get along with, easy to talk to. It’s easy to forget that they hadn’t talked in years before yesterday.

“Okay so we need a movie night then,” Theo states carefully, not wanting to be reading things wrong.

“Yeah! That’d be dope,” Scott says enthusiastically as he shoves a handful of fries into his mouth, pausing to swallow before adding, “and you need to come on the snowboarding trip. Or are you more of a ski guy?”

Theo is neither because he hasn’t been allowed to do any sport or physical activity that could result in injuries since he was born. Contact sports were out of the question. He doesn’t even know how to ride a bike because no one ever let him learn. It’s pathetic.

“Neither actually,” he says archly, “I have a condition,” just in case Scott forgot about that little detail, even taking out his bottle of blue pills and popping the last one for the day.

Without missing a beat Scott replies, “we can go on the kid slopes and I’ll hold you’re hand all the way down. Literally, it’s like ten feet of maybe a quarter inch incline. It’ll be fun.”

He bites back a smile, feeling so stupidly happy about how Scott’s willing to work around things for him all so Theo’ll be included. His insides melt and he has to remind himself that this is all just pretend. Scott wouldn’t even be here if he didn’t need something from him.

Theo snorts, not believing for a second that their little charade will last that long, “okay.”

“Okay,” Scott repeats, smiling wide as he slurps down his peanut butter milkshake. He’d easily demolished his food, being as hungry as he claimed.

“So what’s our story? How did we meet,” he asks Scott, genuinely curious about what Scott would come up with.

His brow furrows with concentration, looking around. “Here,” he says nodding to himself. “I come here a lot at night and we were both here one night and I don’t know. Reconnected and shit. And then just kept talking. You asked me to be your boyfriend when you kissed me.”

Clearly he’s going to have to be the one with imagination here. “Okay so you probably need my number then,” Theo says with a smirk, “so you don’t keep showing up to my house unannounced.

Scott puts his head in his hands, “god I really did that didn’t I.”

Theo doesn’t help, laughing at the other boy. “Yeah. It was cute though. Like something out of a rom-com.”

“Like say anything,” Scott says, peaking at Theo from behind his hands.

“I raise you Heathers.”

“You and Stiles would get along famously.”

*

“Theo,” his mom says as he walks into his house. “Who was that boy dropping you off?”

“Scott,” he says, itching to go and shut himself in his room.

“Why didn’t you take your truck? You could have passed out and fallen off a motorcycle.”

“But I didn’t,” he snaps, all the joy he’d gotten from hanging out with Scott gone, leaving him annoyed and bitter.

She smiles sadly at him, hugging her cardigan around herself, “Theodore, I know you don’t need me to remind you, but you have to be careful. All the medications only do so much. . .if-Theo just please be careful.”

He rolls his eyes and says, “Okay,” before slipping away from her and sitting himself in his room.

Theo lays down on his bed, scrolling through instagram and replies to all the pics on Tara’s story.

A shot of times square. Another of her blowing her hair out of her face in class. And the last of her homework, labeled, doing homework sucks even in the best city in the world along with an apple emoji.

_raeken_theo : kno what sux even more. . .homeowrk in beacon hills_

Tara replies almost instantly.

_no1_raeken: lol truuuu how was ur first day_

Theo closes the app. He could probably lie to the pope himself, but not to Tara and he doesn’t even know how to even begin to explain the situation he’s gotten himself into.

His phone buzzes again and he’s ready to feel bad about not replying to Tara’s text when he see’s it’s from Scott.

_stalker boy : want me to pick u up omw 2 skool_

_theo baeken : hav to pick up tracy_

_stalker boy: so pick me up_

_stalker boy: im the hot girl ;)_

Theo laughs to himself, before curling up in bed and falling asleep.

*

Theo wakes up feeling like shit.

He barely manages to make it to the bathroom before he throws up, his diner from last night down the toilet.

It’s not a great start to his day, but he’s felt worse. He’s woken up connected to so many tubes freaking out, not remembering how he’d even gotten there.

This is nothing.

“Morning Theo,” his dad says, breakfast and lunch already laid out on the table.

“Morning dad,” he mutters, never a morning person.

His dad scrolls through his tablet, already at work. “Heard you throw up earlier.” He looks up at Theo for the first time since he’d walked into the kitchen, searching Theo for any sign that he really was feeling bad.

“That never happened,” Theo offered, smiling slyly as he shoveled oatmeal and fruit into his mouth before he had to run out the door to go pick up Tracy and Scott.

His dad raised an eyebrow.

“I’ll stop by the hospital after school.”

“That’s my boy,” his dad nods before going back to his tablet.

“See you later dad,” he calls out and races out the door.

*

_the hulk: we need to talk_

_the hulk: theo_

_the hulk: can we pls talk_

*

“In the back,” Theo says before Tracy can even open the passenger door.

“I’m not five,” she says, raising an eyebrow, but gets into the back of the truck either way, sitting in the middle so she can lean over and annoy him. “So why can’t I sit in the front?”

“Scott’s sitting there,” he says, pretending to look for cars so he doesn’t have to look at her.

“I have seniority,” she protests. “I get the passenger seat.”

“I’m dying you have to let me do whatever I want.”

She stutters, shaking her head, “No. You don’t get to play that card every time you don’t get what you want!”

And because he’s a little shit, Theo replies, “Actually I do.”

Tracy snarls, shoving her hands into his face.

“Are you insane,” he says trying to smother his laugh as he pulls up to Scott’s house, “you’re going to get us both killed.”

“Have fun explaining all the bruises on your face for the rest of the day,” she says smiling and settling back in her seat as Scott comes out of his house, looking like she hadn’t just attacked him.

“God you’re such an evil bitch sometimes,” Theo mutters under his breath before Scott opens the door.

Tracy just laughs.

“Did I miss something?”

“No,” they both say.

Scott just shrugs, amused, as Theo starts the drive towards school.

“So Scott,” Tracy begins, “care to tell me why you’re in my seat?”

“Tracy,” Theo hisses.

“Do you want me to move?”

“Don’t show fear,” Theo tells Scott, “she’ll never let it go.”

Tracy grins, resting her chin on the back of Scott’s seat, “so why are you joining us?Not that I mind but Theo never tells me anything.”

“You’ll just use it against me.”

“Yeah. Duh. Not my fault I never had a sibling to annoy.”

Scott smiles before telling Tracy, “We’re dating,” looking over at Theo like Theo personally made the sun rise this morning. It’s a lot.

“What,” Tracy says, staring daggers into Theo’s profile.

“Oh look we’re at school.”

“Theo!”

“Also, no offense babe,” Scott says, “but what happened to you’re face.”

Tracy just laughs.

The evil bitch.

*

Scott walks with Theo to their first class. He hadn’t been kidding about carrying his textbooks which was a godsend. Theo’s shoulder always ached at the end of the day from lugging his books around even with a locker.

They walks together, hands brushing and Theo biting back the dumb smile forming on his lips as Scott babbles about lacrosse while carrying his stuff, opening the door for him and genuinely being ridiculous. “-Not that I’m saying Coach is bad, but he’s mostly there for motivational support. The real brains of the team are Stiles and Issac.”

“Aren’t you the captain though,” Theo says, amused as they slid into their seats next to each other.

“Well, yeah,” Scott replies bashfully, “but Stiles and Issac are important. So is everyone else I mean Danny and Jackson are amazing together on the field, playing off each other like nothing else. Nothing gets past Boyd in the goal post. Corey’ll have to take over but he’ll be great with another year of practice in himwhat with most of the varsity team graduating this year.”

“I’m sure you’re selling yourself short.”

Scott smiles, turning to face forward as their class files in and the bell rings.

Lydia stops by, “My notes?”

Scott dutifully digs out notes that look straight out of a studyspo blog that he knows Tracy has bookmarked and saved on her phone. “Thanks again.”

“Yeah next time make my study sessions,” she says, but there’s no bite to her words, as she studies Scott.

“Something came up,” Scott protests weakly.

Theo can’t help but snort.

Her sharp gaze immediately turns on him, as she purses her lips as she scrutinizes him. Arching a perfectly sculpted brow she says, “I see.” Lydia turns back to Scott, “I thought you _needed_ this class.”

“I do.”

“Mmm,” Lydia hums before turning and going to sit in the front of the class.

“I thought she was going to eat me,” Theo jokes, as they start to write down the lecture notes.

“Lydia’s can be intense but thats why she’s going to win a fields medal.”

“Mathematics?”

Scott shrugs, “I don’t even know man.”

*

Mason keeps kicking Theo’s chair during APush. Only his fear of Mrs. Argent keeps him at bay but he knows that as soon as the bell rings and class starts Mason will be on him like a shark with blood in the water.

Liam is a coward having waited until summer to ghost Mason.

Liam who he doesn’t share a class with thank god. He’d already have died from a heart attack.

“We have a group chat for a reason,” Mason hisses as they try to keep up with Mrs. Argent’s lecture. She doesn’t believe in power points, simply talking and expecting them to write all the pertinent information down.

She’s infamous for having an oral part to her finals.

Theo smirks back at Mason, but doesn’t say anything which just serves to make Mason kick his chair harder.

It’s almost too easy to get under Mason’s skin.

“Traitor,” he hisses again. “I had to hear aboutyou and Scott from Corey who I didn’t even know you talked too.”

“We shared two classes last year,” he whispers back.

“I know! But you didn’t say anything about it when you knew I was crushing on him!”

“Mr. Hewitt, Mr. Raeken,” Victoria Argent calls out, “would you like me too wait until your conversation is finished to continue?”

“Uhh,” is Mason’s genius reply.

Theo controls his urge to roll his eyes and answers back as earnestly as he can, “Mason was just asking me if I still felt nauseous. New prescription,” he finishes apologetically. He’s so good at this his lips don’t even twitch as he bits back a smirk.

Mrs. Argent swallows thickly, thrown off balance, “Do you need to go to the nurse’s office?”

School nurses only ever give you ice packs and ask if you’re feeling better every thirty minutes.

“I’ll be okay.”

She resumes her lecture on the early laws and colonies including which were basically gifted to all powerful governor owners by the British. There’s so many dates to remember and his hand is already cramping up.

Mason doesn’t kick his desk again.

He waits until the bell rings to pounce, “you and Scott? Since when? I mean you never even go to lacrosse practice not even for Liam.”

“The benches are uncomfortable,” Theo muses much to Mason’s irritation.

“Not the point you dick,” he says, shaking his head as he drags Theo with him to go eat lunch. “Have you two even talked in class before? You’ve never mentioned that you liked him! That’s what the group chat is about!”

“I thought you only use telegram to throw off anyone bugging your phone?”

“Dude!”

“I don’t know,” Theo shrugs as they sit down with Corey and Tracy at a table, “it just happened.”

“Yeah you just start dating someone you don’t even talk to,” Tracy says patronizingly as she stabs into her rice bowl. “We picked Scott up this morning and he kicked me into the back seat.”

“Theo,” Mason chides, “bros before hoes.”

He remembers Scott’s hot girl text and can’t help but laugh.

“What are we talking about,” Scott says sliding into the space next to Theo, his arm resting around his shoulder as he leans into him, into his personal space. Theo does his best not to stiffen and pull away.

They’d agreed to this. It was just unexpected.

“Theo’s lack of communication abilities,” Tracy says, selling him out for nothing.

Corey laughs, “Really? I’ve always found Theo really easy to talk to.”

“Thank you Corey,” Theo says.

Mason snorts, “He also straight up lied to Mrs. Argent’s face about changing his prescription.”

“That’s metal as fuck,” Tracy replies before eating another fork of her rice bowl. “Tara told me she made Matt Dealer cry last year.”

“Stiles told me about that,” Scott adds, still leaning into Theo, his body warm against Theo’s own cold body. Fuck the school’s air conditioning. “He dropped before the next class.”

“That’s awful,” Corey says.

“Yeah, but it turned out he was stalking a bunch of girls so I guess it wasn’t that awful.”

“Yikes,” Tracy says, taking a sip of her juice box because she’s still five apparently. “Boys are gross.”

“Can’t believe you lied to Victoria’s face,” Scott says, looking over at Theo with a grin, “she threatened me during freshman year by like sharpening a pencil until it was a little stub.”

“What the actual fuck,” Mason states what they’re all feeling.

“Doesn’t sound like much of a threat,” Corey adds.

“Victoria’s just terrifying in general.”

“True,” Mason says.

“You guys are just cowards,” Theo says smugly.

“She’s totally the type of person that would look up your medical record.”

Theo smugly replies, “She can’t. It’s illegal.”

Scott burst into laughter besides him and pulls him into a side hug which makes him smile right back at the other boy, at his fake boyfriend. Clearly they must be good at this if his friends are buying it. “Same time tomorrow?”

“Don’t you need a ride home?”

“I can just catch one with Stiles.”

“It’s fine,” Theo says, ignoring Mason and Tracy’s faces, “I can wait for you after practice.”

“Okay,” Scott says, “as long as it’s not a hassle.”

“It’s not.”

“God,” Tracy says, throwing her empty juice box at them, “go be gross on your own time.”

“I think you guys are cute together,” Corey says.

“See,” Theo says, pointing at Tracy, “that’s a good friend.”

“Dick.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the hales are related to Scott in this because I said so. Scott's mom is Talia's cousin but they all grew up together so they were close. The hale fire still happened , but not everyone died like in the show. a lot of those events will go unmentioned in this fic even though ive already mapped out like an extensive plot of events relating to that that happens mostly before this fic starts but i think that's all that needs to be said.
> 
> ur opinions would be much appriciated <3


	4. Allie and Scott

“So he still needs practice,” Mason says with a shrug as they watch Corey miss the ball for the fourth time in a row while sitting on the bleachers and waiting for practice to end.

Theo snorts, “keep telling yourself that.” Corey had yet to play any actual game.

“Okay,” Mason says, wincing as the ball smacks Corey right in the head, “so he’s bad at it, but he did block it that time. And he likes it.”

Theo furrows his brow at the boy sitting next to him, “I didn’t say shit Mason. That was all you.”

Corey rolls his eyes, “you know what I meant.”

He arches a brow, teasing smirk on his lips as the lacrosse coach and worst economics teacher in history blows the whistle signaling the end of practice.

“Don’t give me that look,” Mason says shaking his head at Theo, “even you’re not that much of an asshole. Even though you never said anything about Scott.”

“Die mad about it,” Theo easily replies as the team heads inside to shower and he can finally stop trying to avoid Liam’s gaze. It had been on him since Mason and him had gotten here about half an hour ago and Liam had been off his game, or maybe he’s always been a terrible lacrosse player.

“The whole point of having friends is to hear all the drama,” Mason tells him, “or else what is the whole point of putting up with you being a huge asshole all the freaking time.”

Theo laughs, “oh so that’s why you put up with me, playing the long game?”

“That and you saved my ass in physics last year.”

“It’s really not that hard,” Theo says, smirking as Mason throws him a dirty look.

“There you go again.”

They both shove their stuff into their backpacks and walk down, making their way across the field to wait for their respective boyfriends.

“I didn’t say anything,” Theo finally decides on, “because I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.” Which is true. Or maybe if it was a real relationship he’d be more like Corey who had sunshine shooting out of his ass all the time around Mason. Maybe if it was Liam he’d never shut up about it.

“Dude,” Mason says, eyebrow raised as he looks over at Theo, “you know you can talk to me right. I mean, I might not be Tara, but we are friends. You know that right.”

Theo shrugs not meeting Mason’s gaze. He’s not wrong, but he’s also never felt particularly close to Mason since there was always a Liam sized hole between them. Even now it felt more like they were waiting for Liam than Corey and Scott. “Yeah, yeah. I know.”

*

Liam is the first to come out of the locker rooms, jaw clenched as he makes a bee line for them both. His backpack dangles from his hand.

Theo immediately looks around because it’s Liam and he knows when he’s about to snap. His whole body pull taunt, tensed and ready to snap like a rubber band at the slightest provocation.

The play station controller had hit the wall more than once when they’d been playing at Liam’s house and he’d had a rough week. He’d always be so embarrassed about it after, about not being able to control himself like a normal person.

Theo would always make a joke out of it, just to get Liam smiling again.

Gulping, he prepares himself for the inevitable confrontation thathe’s sure to blow way out of proportions. Guess there goes his friendship and Mason’ll side with Liam because they’ve known each other longer.

He’s sure Tracey would fight Liam for him if Theo asked, and she might do it anyway even if he doesn’t.She liked fighting. It was why she’d kept at boxing even when the novelty wore off all the other kids and they begged their parents to take them to some other class.

“Pretty sure we’re the ones that are supposed to be angry here,” Mason mutters, “but it is Liam.”

They share an indulgent smile of two parents who know their child is a fucking terror but pretend they don’t notice how their kid colored all over the walls and threw a tantrum to save face before quickly leaving the party.

“You can say that again,” Theo utters before Liam reaches them.

“We need to fucking talk,” Liam says through clenched teeth, his finger jabs into Theo’s chest which is just another bruise he’ll have to live with for weeks.

Theo doesn’t back down, “you’re the one who didn’t text back all summer,” he says as saccharine as possible while smiling. It doesn’t reach his eyes.

Liam huffs, his fist balling up at his sides, backpack hitting the ground with a loud thump.

“Liam,” Mason tries cautiously, “you gotta chill man. It’s been four months since the last incident. You really going to lose it over something stupid?”

Right. Mason doesn’t know what this is _really_ about.

“Don’t,” Liam spits out venomously, his hands coming up to thread through his hair, fingers twisting in it roughly as he _pulls_.

“Liam,” Theo says, already reaching out to the other boy that makes his heart ache so much, “you’re hurting yourself.”

He jolts away, repelled by Theo and Theo feels heavy and hurt and this is all his nightmares and anxiety realized. Liam wants nothing to do with him.

“Don’t touch me.”

“Liam-,”

“Liam,” Hayden calls out, her hand grabbing onto Liam’s arm, pulling him away, “Let’s go. We’re already running late.” She’s unbothered by Liam’s outburst, not sparing a second as she glances at Mason and Theo dismissively. 

For a second, Liam looks like he’s about to snap and hit someone or do something else just as bad. With Liam, you never know if he’s going to hurt someone, or hurt himself to avoid hurting anyone.

“Liam,” she repeats herself, popping her gum as she does, “let’s go.”

Liam grabs his backpack and lets her pull him away, looking back at them only once. Theo blames himself for the hurt look on Liam’s features before he turns back around, refusing to meet Theo’s eyes.

Liam knows and now he hates Theo.

He wants to throw up and for once it’s not the medication.

“Are you all right,” Scott says, walking up besides Theo, eyes heavy with concern. “Is Liam?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Mason answers when it becomes clear Theo won’t, “we’ll talk it out when he calms down. Even Liam can’t stay angry forever.”

“Yeah right,” Stiles snorts, never far from Scott’s side.

“Stiles,” Scott admonishes as he smacks Stiles arm, smiling all the same.

“What! It’s not like I’m wrong or did you forget out last away game where Liam and Brett tried to murder each other on the field and by Liam and Brett I mean mostly Liam because Brett’s the most zen’d out teenager I’ve ever seen but not in a at peace with the world granola girl way but in the douchiest way ever.”

“Stiles!”

“Am I wrong?”

“Brett with an eight pack,” Mason asks with a grin.

“Don’t you have a boyfriend,” Theo says with amusement even as he just wants to go home and nap. Or watch those depressing french film Tracey always makes him watch and he’d never admit that he liked after. More than likely just watch Donnie Darko and stare at Jake Gyllenhaal’s fine ass.

“He does,” says Corey with a smile on his lips as he looks over at Mason, a smile Mason immediately returns.

“But where is my nerdy history major boyfriend to pick me up after practice,” Stiles protests.

Scott groans, “don’t talk about my cousin like that. It’s just weird.”

“But it wasn’t weird when Cora and Issac hooked up? Or Cora and Boyd?”

“Cora isn’t like a thousand years older than us and she and Boyd are happily doing their own thing,” Scott says rolling his eyes at Stiles. “And you have a car.”

“So not the point Scott.”

Scott looks over at Theo apologetically, he can’t help who his best friend is, and Scott and Stiles are a packaged deal, everyone knows that.

Theo shrugs, a teasing smirk on his lips. “want to get out of here?”

“Please. You share your lunchables with someone once,” Scott answers back, laughing as Stiles

“Oh my god,” Stiles starts on again, “don’t do this to me Scott!”

“Bye Stiles,” is all Scott says as he slips his hand into Theo’s intertwining their fingers.

“What ever happened to bro’s before hoes! I’m going to be your cousin in law soon after all!”

Theo has to swallow back the lump in his throat as he walks away holding Scott’s hand.

*

“Talk to me,” Scott says as they slip into Theo’s truck, “I can tell you’re not okay.”

Theo takes a deep breathe, hands on the wheel to steady himself. He’s exhausted from the school day, sore from this morning. He’d barely eaten during lunch because of how weird his stomach was after throwing up. And then Liam.

“No one’s here Scott,” Theo snaps, “you don’t have to pretend to care.”

Scott drops his gaze, looking out the window, “I don’t have to pretend. I care about you Theo, outside of all this.”

Theo swallows. He doubts Scott and him would even be talking if Alison hadn’t broken up with him. If Scott wasn’t just using Theo to make her jealous.

“I’m sure he’s just in shock and processing and as soon as he’s had time he’ll get over it,” Scott says, looking back over at Theo, his hand rubbing his shoulder consolingly.

“Was Alison jealous,” Theo asks, not wanting to talk about Liam right now. He wishes Tara was here. He wishes he wasn’t such a coward and just told her how much he was messing up his life at the moment.

Thankfully Scott gets the hint. “Yeah, we talked during english and she wanted to know if the rumors were true and I don’t know. She was definitely wanting to know if we were dating or just seeing each other or friends now and when I told her we were dating she got this really pinched look on her face and did the fake Alison smile that makes her look like a rat but a cute rat, like that one vine about fancy rats,” Scott rambles excitingly.

Theo was glad things were working out for Scott. The guy deserved to be happy. Or maybe he just needed time to realize that you can’t make people un-break up with you by making them jealous.

But he was in no position to judge.

“-I guess I’ll have to wait and see what she says later when we talk.”

“You’re seeing her later,” Theo asks puzzled. He knows they run in the same friend group, so it’s not that weird, but they just broke up.

“Just over skype. We’re going to work through some english assignment together.”

“Okay then,” Theo says, unable to help himself.

“What?”

“I just think it’s a little weird. You guys just broke up. Don’t you think you should giver her space? Love makes the heart grow fonder and all that.”

Scott shrugs, “I wouldn’t know. I mean it’s Alison. She was-is my first everything.”

“That’s the most disgustingly romantic thing I’ve ever heard,” Theo says, smiling over at Scott to make sure the other boy knows he’s joking.

Scott laughs, “What can I say, I’m a hopeless romantic at heart.”

“I bet you cried during the notebook.”

“He wrote her a letter everyday! He built Allie an entire house!”

Theo laughs and finally starts the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know if stiles was quite right but i always half feel like i don't characterize people how i should or want to. i also realized that i made tara only a year older than theo because i didn't think that through much. also realized about how long this story is going to be lol. 
> 
> thoughts?


	5. but my chances turned to toast

It’s the last friday before Lacrosse season kicks off and Liam is sitting on Theo’s porch by the time he gets home from school. Scott had gotten a ride from Stiles since they had made prior plans whatever that was. And by the end of the week, Theo was exhausted, his still unmade bed in mind as he drove home.

But there was Liam, sitting on his porch, hunched over, hands clasped in his lap, still reeking of sweet in his athletic gear.

Normally, Theo would be swallowing hard by now, trying and failing not to think of Liam and how much he just wanted to reach out and run his hands over his defined chest, but all he can think of now is the hurt look in his eyes when Hayden was dragging him away.

“Where’s your other half,” Theo says flatly, coming to a halt in front of Liam, “and I don't mean Mason.”

Liam’s head snaps up, clearly having been lost in his own thoughts, “don’t say that. You don’t know her like I do.”

“She spent most of last year terrorizing you. Like dumping a milkshake on you. Sticking gum on your seat.”

“Don’t,” Liam says with a deep sigh, his summer sky blue eyes looking up at Theo, “can you sit down. I know you’re tired, you always end up napping after school like a three year old.”

“Shut up,” Theo protests, “you always end up falling asleep too,” smiling despite himself as he remembers all the times Liam and him would meet after school to study only to end up falling asleep on Theo’s bed or the Dunbar living room couch. Liam had even found him asleep before and had just laid down next too him.

“Lacrosse,” Liam quips back before sobering up, lips flat as he looks past Theo and out into the manicured street, then looks down, digging into his back pack to produce a worn leather journal that Theo knows very well.

His journal, patina dark from how often he had run his fingers over it for comfort, how often he’d read through his own thoughts. Theo had never been good with emotions, with figuring out what he felt and even beginning to act on it was a little beyond him, Tara had more then once joked about him being a psychopath when they’d watched Hannibal together, but when he wrote it down, it felt real, he felt solid and not like the wind would just blow him away.

“Thought you might want this back,” Liam says gently, looking up through his eyelashes as he reaches out to Theo.

He takes to journal from Liam, careful not to touch the other boy, still reeling from how angry his closest friend had been just days ago. Had it really been just a this monday?

“Where did you get this,” Theo asks breathlessly, fingers gripping the journal hard as he takes a seat next to Liam, his gaze pinned to the boy besides him.

“Found it on the floor,” Liam mumbles, ignoring Theo’s searching gaze ashe continues to study the chipped paint of the porch. His dad swears it adds character.

“Where?”

“Okay,” Liam snaps, “I found it jammed into the crack of my locker, you know, from that time I punched my locker and now it doesn’t close right,” words spilling out of his mouth. “I know I shouldn’t have read it. Fuck. I recognized it as yours. I mean, you might love your privacy but I’ve spent enough time with you to know-shit! Shit.”

He squeezes his eyes shut and grips the edge of the porch swing, knuckles white, pausing to take a breath, the swing swaying with Liam’s movements.

“I shouldn’t have read it,” he repeats.

“But you did.”

“But I did,” Liam sighs, looking over at Theo who is twiddling his fingers together, trying to remind himself why reaching out and running his fingers through Liam’s too long and damp hair would be a terrible idea. Why he can’t just hug his best friend and forget everything.

With a small voice Liam finally gets to the point, “did you mean it? Are you really in l-,”

“Don’t,” Theo interrupts bitterly. He wishes the earth would just crack open and swallow him whole right then and there so he’d never have to have this conversation, feel this naked and embarrassed as his skin flushes red.

As usual, Liam barrels right on, “are you really in love with me?”

“Liam,” Theo whines, voice cracking. It’s stupid. He feels stupid, and ashamed for how he feels though he has no real reason too but Liam had trusted him and it feels like crossing a line after having be allowed to sleep over in Liam’s room, awake into the early hours in the morning playing grand theft auto and crashing his car into Liam’s just to piss the other boy off.

But he can’t help how he feels.

“I guess I already know the answer to _that_ ,” Liam responds humorlessly, ducking his head to look down at his feet once more. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

Because. . .because. . .

“I don’t know,” Theo admits. “You’re my best friend. I didn’t want to risk that over some stupid-,”

“Don’t say that,” Liam says, looking back at Theo, his body shifting so he’s turning towards him, “it’s not stupid. Trust me, I know stupid.”

“I’ve never liked anyone,” Theo says in a small voice, his hands wrapping around himself as he looks at the lone car driving by on the quiet afternoon, “not ever. Not like _that_. I guess I thought I never would or I don’t know. I mean, I-I like you a lot. I have for a long time and I din’t know what I wanted to do about that and you’re, I didn’t even know if it was possible that you _could_ like me the way I wanted you, the way I feel about you.”

“You should have told me,” Liam says softly, his hand resting on Theo’s shoulder, “I wouldn’t have-I took it badly I know, but when don’t I react the wrong way. I always get so fucking angry even when I don’t mean too, its like a banging in my skull and I have to do something. But I wouldn’t have if you had told me, it was a fucked up way to find out and it’s my fault and I’m sorry for reading something that was obviously so private and personal to you.”

“I didn’t have to tell you shit,” Theo utters.

“I know,” Liam says sighing as he runs a hand through his hairs, lightly pulling at his locks, “this is all coming out wrong. I had this whole thing planned out in my head and by the end we’d be playing Mario kart but you’re messing this up. I’m messing this up. Fuck. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for how I reacted. Can we just be friends again?”

“I don’t know, can you start texting me back when you’re not up Hayden’s ass?”

“Shut up.”

“Fuck you.”

They laugh, looking at each other.

“So what are you going to do with it now,” Liam asks.

“Burn it.”

“Can I watch?”

“Sure,” Theo says with a smirk.

“And for the record. I’m _not not_ into guys. I mean I think Jake Gyllenhaal is so hot in Donnie Darko even though I hate that weird ass bunny, but I guess it doesn’t matter now what with you and Scott.”

Theo’s whole world stops for a second, freeze frame, needs to call nine one one type of stopping.

“Yeah,” he lies like he’s not dying inside, stupid smirk plastered to his face, “it sort of just happened.”

“I’m happy for you,” Liam says grabbing both their things as he barges into Theo’s house like nothings happened.

Theo wants to hit something.

*

He takes his pills right on time as he waits outside of Tracy’s house, ignoring the nausea and the way his stomach turns.

She walks out in jeans and a loose hoody that Theo swears had once been his in middle school, not that she would ever admit to something like that.

“Wow,” she says sliding into the passenger seat and slamming the door closed, “What’s got your panties in a bunch.”

“Liam.”

“Still being a dick about everything,” she asks with an arched brow as Theo drives off on the way to the theater.

“Pretty much.”

“Theo,” Tracy replies with a annoyed sigh, “if you don’t want to talk to me about it you could at least talk to Tara. Or just reply to her in general you know because you’re being as much of a dick as Liam is only worse because it’s your sister.”

“You two talk about me?”

She rolls her eyes as he smirks, “we talk about everything. And have really intense phone sex, not to mention skype.”

“Please shut up,” Theo says with a groan, that was the last thing he wanted to think about.

She laughs at the miserable expression on his face, “I’m serious though. Tara misses and you would like you to actually reply instead of just logging off whenever she’s on and she’s totally got me spying on you by the way.”

“Thanks,” he says, dripping sarcasm, “you’re a great friend.”

“So you and Liam finally talk it out and bro out or whatever guys do,” Tracy asks.

“You really going to pretend you haven’t ever gone over to Liam’s house?”

“I haven’t,” Tracy says with a straight face.

Theo rolls his eyes, “you and mason gang up on us constantly, about everything.”

“Not my fault you two are so dumb. Is everything sunshine and rainbows again in idiot world then?”

He shrugs, “I guess. I don’t know. We talked and it was weird, awkward.” It’s not like he’s told her everything so he can’t and wont get into it now. Theo wishes he could talk to Scott right now so he could get everything off his chest to the one person who knew everything that was going on.

Fucking Liam.

And then there was the whole charade that was his fake boyfriend.

Fuck.

“I hope you gave him shit for ditching us all for Hayden,” Tracy says as they walk to the inside, Tracy already eyeing the snack bar like it’s okay that they charge five dollars for a box of candy Theo could get for a dollar at the ninety nine cents store.

It was daylight robbery.

“We didn’t really talk about her,” he admits, “and he was really weirdly defensive whenever she came up.”

“Duh,” Tracy says, filling up and icy with red cherry like the heathen she was, everyone knew that you were supposed to mix it with blue raspberry, whatever that was, “it’s Liam. He beat up some kid last year because he thought he was talking shit about you.”

Theo skin tingles in embarrassment, pink dusting his cheeks as he shakes his head, “no, that wasn’t it. He just snapped after having to deal his dad calling out of the blue that week.”

“Sure,” Tracy teases because she isn’t blind and noticed his crush on the other boy as soon as they started hanging out. “Because Liam beats people up all the time.”

“IED.”

Tracy grins, her arm in his as they find their way through the theater to the right room, “Nope. He’s made _such_ progress.”

“Tracy,” he groans, “please shut up.”

“So now you have two boyfriends and I have to suffer through a year without my girlfriend,” she pouts, “it’s misogynistic.”

Theo laughs, pain shooting through his chest as he does, “sure it is.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Theo says as they sit down, Tracy already reclining the seat as far as it will go, “Liam’s dating Hayden and I’m with Scott but I guess at least Liam’s gotten his head out of his ass.”

“How are things with you two other than the constant puppy dog looks Scott keeps giving you when you’re not looking, oh and that dumb ass face you make whenever Scott’s by us?”

“Tracy,” he groans because first of all, fake and second of all, he does actually enjoy spending time with Scott. He’s easy to talk to and sweet and never feels like he’s pressing Theo for more.

Even during first period, Scott’s more wide awake then anyone has a right to be, trudging through the long biology notes and peering over at Theo’s when he misses something.

He’ll eat the hummus experiments Theo’s dad always packs in his lunch and actually enjoy it, pairing it with doritos as Theo looks on in disgust.

And he likes the warmth of Scott’s hand in his, feeling all warm and bubbly on the inside when Scott intertwines his fingers with his and fall into step with Theo.

He doesn’t even mind that he’ll have to spend time with Stiles and Issac and Scott’s cousins tomorrow because Scott will be there so it’ll be bearable.

“Yes,” she asks with a raised brow.

“We’re hanging out tomorrow with Stiles at his house.”

“You’re literally that parks and rec meme,” Tracy says with a snort, “this is my boyfriend Scott, and this is Scott’s boyfriend Stiles.”

“Fuck off,” he hisses as the lights dim, “I’m watching My Neighbor Totoro for you aren’t I.”

“It’ a cute movie.”

“No it’s fucking not.”

Tracy laughs, “how was I supposed to know it would freak you out and give you nightmares when we were kids?”

“Just hand over the popcorn.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope this was a good dramatic moment after the last chapters of waiting to hear from liam. they're still not on the same page per say but at least theyre back to talking and wanting to work things out.
> 
> thoughts?


	6. cuddling with your fake boyfriend 101

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> malia isn't a hale in this.

It’s already noon when Theo arrives at the McCall house, a place he’s driven to a lot since school started, since this thing started. But he hasn’t been invited in in all that time, only picking up and dropping off Scott.

He’s been awake since eight, body automatically waking even as he tried to go back to sleep, going so far as to do homework early in an attempt to starve off the restless energy he’s felt since he’d woken up.

It was one thing to pick Scott up and see him at school and spend so much time looking at the other boy he’d realized the flecks of gold in his warm brown eyes, the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed, and how completely lost he got as soon as the teacher called on him even if he did know the answer.

It was another thing entirely to hang out outside of school and pretend to date, especially when Stiles would be there. Hell, his cousins would be there.

But here he was, about to knock, ignoring the half of his mind that told him to pretend to be sick and leave.

“Theo,” Stiles says his smile all teeth as he opens the door before Theo can even knock, “crazy to see you outside of school isn’t it.”

Stupidly, he starts, “uhh,” having expected Scott, not his more annoying half. Even as children Stiles had been a terror back when they’d been friends, monopolizing Scott’s attention and jumping all over the place.

“This isn’t your fucking house Stilinski,” Isaac Lahey’s voice rings out as he appears in the door way smacking Stiles’ head. “You can’t just answer the door.”

“No one asked you,” Stiles sneers.

Issac sneers right back before he looks at Theo and explaining, “he thought it might be Derek back with the donuts.”

Stiles stutters, “Yeah because you’re all monsters who don’t respect the sanctity of calling dibs.”

Issac just smirks at Stiles before dragging the boy out of the way, “Scott’s curled up on the couch pretending we might let him sleep some more.”

“Thanks,” Theo says awkwardly following them inside. They’re loud. He can’t remember the last time either of his parents raised their voice. Even Tara was never this loud when annoying him.

“Unfortunately he forgot his best friend is Stiles who woke us all up this morning by crashing through the window like he doesn’t have his own key.”

“No one asked you Isaac.”

“You ruined my beauty sleep,” the taller boy snaps back.

“Well it clearly wasn’t working.”

“Oh my god,” Cora groans as they all walk into the living room. She’s on the couch with her binder, doing homework, Scott’s feet nudging her leg while he lays in the couch curled up in a blanket, “Will you both just shut up.”

“Isaac started it and I think we should just go put him back in whatever abandoned puppy box Scott found him in.”

“Stiles,” Scott groans, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and yawing.

“Just admit you’ve been eyeing my room for yourself since day one and move the fuck on.”

“Your room,” Stiles scoffs, “my place is right next to Scott, but with two blankets because he always ends up being a complete blanket hog.”

“You’ve not only kicked me in your sleep, but also rolled me onto the floor before on purpose,” Scott complains, smiling as he catches Theo’s gaze.

Stiles just shrugs unapologetically, taking a seat on the other couch, Isaac immediately sitting down next to him and laying his legs onto of Stiles’ lap.

“Is it really noon,” Scott asks Theo as he sits up to make room for him, waving him over.

“Past noon by now,” he answers, feeling tethered now that Scott’s here, smiling softly at him, hair all mussed from sleep.

“And you said you were going to wake up early and actually do homework,” Cora teases him.

“You’re all terrible,” Scott complains, “do you see how mean they are too me?”

“Hey,” Stiles immediately protests, “We’re brothers Scott, it doesn’t count.”

“Did you wish _really really_ hard,” Isaac sneers, kicking Stiles’ leg.

“Don’t you and Cora have somewhere to be?”

“You just want Derek all to yourself!”

“They’re always like this,” Scott says, resting his head against Theo’s shoulder.

“Pretty sure you’re supposed to say they’re not always like this,” Theo mutters as Isaac and Stiles continue to bicker, Cora ignoring them all.

“How was the movie,” Scott says, smiling as Theo relaxes against the other boys embrace, “any nightmares?”

“I was eleven,” Theo whines, “and the japanese are into some messed up shit.”

“True,” Scott says with a laugh.

“God stop being so gross in front of us all,” Stiles calls out, “some of us are single and not getting sexed up the way we deserve.”

Cora snorts.

Scott flushes bright red, looking away from Theo.

“Did not need to hear that,” a man says front he doorway with a box ofdonuts. This must be Derek then. He has dark scruff on his cheeks, and the same think full brows and hair that Scott does, but other than that they don’t look much alike the way Cora and Scott do. “You must be Theo,” Derek says warmly, but doesn’t smile.

“Last I checked,” he responds, curled up with Scott as if it was the most normal thing in the world, the warmth of Scott against his the most comforting thing in the world.

“Did you get me-,”

“Yes, Stiles,” Derek finishes rolling his eyes as he heads into the kitchen, Cora, Isaac, and Stiles on his heels.

“You better hurry or they won’t leave you anything good,” Cora says with a grin.

Scott looks over at Theo, “I don’t actually want to move.”

He laughs at the bashful look on Scott even as he snuggles closer, arms wrapped around Theo. “Then don’t.”

He’s rewarded with a grin, “Derek’ll bring me something anyway. He might look like a total grouch but he’s cool. Most of the time.”

“Your cousin right?”

“He’s Cora’s only brother.” Then, with a whisper adds, “Cora’s _only_ living brother. There’s also Laura and Uncle Peter but mom says Uncle Peter’s a total douchebag. Laura’s the best though.”

*

Eventually, they do get up.

As Scott had predicted, Derek had salvaged some donuts, Cora and Isaac just exchanging looks before sniggering as they looked on Stiles and Derek’s bickering. “Derek got sidecar this time,” Stiles teases the older man.

“I don’t get what’s so great about these particular donuts,” Derek says, rolling his eyes, “they’reall just donuts.”

“Just donuts,” Stiles says, mock offended, “that’s like saying Star Wars is just a sci-fi movie.”

“You made me watch the first one last week,” the man mutters, “they weren’t that great.”

“How can you say something like that,” Stiles yelps!

With a shit-eating grin, Isaac says, “Star Wars really isn’t that great. You can make a case for Empire but other than that. . .”

“I’m surrounded by morons,” Stiles says, letting his head hit the counter and groaning.

Cora laughs.

Scott shakes his head, grabbing Theo’s hand and pulling him back out of the kitchen, “I regret ever introducing them.”

“I don’t think Derek’s aware if that helps,” Theo offers, finally taking a bite out of his donut and he has to agree with Derek, its like every donut he’s ever had, which is good, but also just a bunch of grease.

“Somehow that doesn’t make it any better. It might even make it worse.” Scott’s nose scrunches up and it might be the funniest thing Theo’s ever seen, like a confused puppy, taking a seat back on the sofa.

Theo takes another bite out of his artery clogging donut and hopes it doesn’t make him throw up later. “So why’s Derek here again?”

“Laura’s rebuilding her family’s house up by the preserve, from before the-,” Scott gets a really haunted look for a second before looking away for a second, “and he graduated college so he’s here until he figures out what to do with his history degree.”

“What’s he going to do with a history degree?”

“Right,” Stiles says walking back into the living room along with Derek, Cora, and Issac, “you’re going to be unemployed for the rest of your life! History degrees are useless.”

“Thanks,” Derek says, rolling his eyes. “Just what I always wanted to here.”

Cora sniggers from her spot on the ground, back against the love seat Issac is laying on, “now you can join every other unemployed millennial working minimum wage jobs with a college degree.”

“Too real Cora,” Isaac mutters.

“So who’s down for some monopoly kids,” Stiles says, taking a seat by Issac and Cora.

Everyone groans, which makes Theo laugh. “Don’t,” Cora says, looking over at him, “Stiles is the one person who actually likes playing monopoly for hours on end.”

“It’s all strategy.”

“Or,” Issac says carefully, “we could play clue while watching clue.”

“I like where your heads at,” Stiles says, pointing over at him, “but no one here can figure out how to play that game.”

“Google,” Theo offers.

Scott shakes his head at all of them, “or we could play super smash brothers and watch Derek fail at everything.”

“Video games will rot your brain,” Derek grumbles.

Cora snorts, “keep telling yourself that as we all destroy you.”

*

Scott looks like he's about to lean in and kiss him, and for a second Theo forgets why that would be a bad idea and wants him too, who cares about the rest of Scott's friends and cousins, but then he just wraps his arms around him and embraces him, hugging Theo tightly.

Isaac and Scott have just finished another round of Super Smash Brothers, Scott choosing princess peach every single time, Isaac playing dirty and throwing a pillow in Scott's face at one point.

Everyone including Theo yelling advice to each boy except Derek, who was smiling despite truly being terrible at the game, who was smiling despite grumbling every so often about how he'd rather be somewhere else.

“How come Scott gets a boyfriend this fast and I can't even get someone to go on a date with me,” Stiles complains, splayed out like a starfish on the floor, his head laying in Cora's lap.

“Easy,” Cora shrugs, “Scott's amazing and your like his really annoying chihuahua.”

“-that hasn't been house broken,” Isaac adds.

Theo snorts, even as Scott begins protesting, “Stiles is great, he's just into people that aren't into him.”

“Scott,” Stiles mutters, shaking his head as they all laugh at Scott's awfully put statement, “buddy we've got to work on your english. I appreciate the sentiment but no.”

Theo laughs again, the floor spinning slightly as his chest hurt. He hadn't had this much fun since before Tara had left for college and there it goes. All the guilt he's been feeling about not talking to Tara, about avoiding her even when all she wants to do is make sure he's okay and talk to him like they always had, like she's always snuck into his room when it stormed because she hated lightning.

“Freudian slip,” Theo says, smirking at Stiles who flushed red, mock offended.

“There are plenty of people wanting to sex me up,” Stiles counters.

“That time Danny offered because Jackson and him were on a break does not count,” Cora states.

“You should've taken him up,” Isaac muses, “Seeing Jackson's reaction would have been priceless.”

Theo feels a familiar wave of nausea run through him and untangles himself from Scott's warm grasp, already missing the press of his body against his.

“Bathroom,” he asks, already up.

“End of the hallway,” Scott says, a soft smile as he looks up at Theo, a sliver of skin exposed as his shirt had ridden up from being curled up in the couch.

Theo swallows, the room tilting under his feet and it's only years of dealing with this that keep him from looking as awful as he feels.

He nods and goes, already feeling the bile rising in his throat. Closing the door and turing on the faucet he throws up into the toilet, closing his eyes and concentrating on taking deep breaths even with the stabbing pain in his sternum.

When he's sure he's okay, and the world stops spinning under him, stomach settled, he gets up and flushes the toilet twice, rinsing his mouth out with water and digging into his pocket for the pill container on his keys. Tara had stolen it from the pharmacy while his mom was paying and then made fun of him for being an old man.

He's going to talk to her.

Theo dry swallows a pill, figuring he'll be fine if he does, that's all he ever does. Take pills and get sick

“Are you okay,” Scott says from the doorway.

“Yeah just need a second,” Theo answers, hands on the counter, steadying himself.

“Can I come in?”

Theo opens the door and pulls Scott inside.

“You don't look okay,” Scott mummers, looking him over and cupping his cheek.

Theo manages a smirk, throat still sore and his breathing somewhat back to normal, “I'm used to it. Did anyone-”

With a shake of his head, Scott answers, “No one noticed.”

“You did.”

“Of course I did,” Scott says softly, his thumb gently rubbing circles into Theo’s skin, grounding him, warmth spreading in his chest. “Now come on, Stiles is about to play Isaac and those two play dirty as fuck.”

*

_raeken_theo: i cant believe u set tracy on me she was my friend first !_

_no1_raeken: it totes worked_

_raeken_theo: don't use totes it's not 2004_

_no1_raeken: ur so lame so what's this i hear about a boi_

_raeken_theo: u hav no boy advice 2 give_

_no1_raeken: yea h umm if he does anything fucked up gone girl him_

_raeken_theo: missed u too_

_no1_raeken: don't b a stranger teddy_

_raeken_theo: u kno i HATE it when u call me that_

_no1_raeken: teddy teddy teddy teddy teddy_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: theo pls go to the doctor  
> theo: no  
> i hate this it feels so. .off but its all i can write. i think its just filler and relationship development. next chapter should be more exciting (first lacrosse game of the season) isaac was still taken in by the mccalls even though it isnt explained since theo isnt very aware of what went on just that issac lives with scott.   
> thoughts?


	7. jitters

“So Allison and I were talking last night,” Scott tells Theo as they both scramble to write down as much of the lecture slides as they can, their hands cramping up as they go, “and she actually thought about skipping the game this friday.”

It’s clear by his petulant tone and sad puppy dog eyes that Scott isn’t into this idea at all.

“Do you still talk to her everyday,” Theo can’t help but ask, annoyed. They might friends, but they also just broke up. He might not be an expert on relationships but that can’t good, no matter how much Scott might miss her.

“Yeah,” Scott says sadly, hunching into himself, “she’s the person I want to tell everything to.”

“Scott,” Theo says carefully, looking over at they boy next to him, his eyes still crusted with sleep this early the morning, and hopes he doesn’t take it the wrong way, “I know you care about Allison and want her back but she did break up with you. Don’t you two need some space apart? Maybe that’s what she wanted, or thought she need for a while.”

Scott looks over at him dejectedly, “Can you go back to being really sarcastic and stop giving me advice really good advice?”

He snorts, shaking his head, “if it’s meant to be, you’ll end up together again.”

Scott grumbles besides him.

Theo can’t help but add, barely smothering a laugh, “when you wish upon a star-,”

Scott kicks him under the table.

*

“Oh I see Liam has finally deigned to walk along with us,” Mason teases, enough bite in behind his words to make Liam falter in step.

“My next class is this way,” Liam protests, settling into step next to Theo. “And you’re my friends asshole.”

“Is Hayden not here for you to follow her around like love stick puppy?”

Liam scowls at Mason, “okay I’ve been an ass but-,”

“Liam finally gets something right,” Theo adds with a smirk.

His scowl deeps for a second,before he rolls his eyes, “are you guys done?”

“No,” Mason says, “I’ve got one more.”

“Okay, lets hear it,” Liam says, leaning against the wall outside of Mason and Theo’s history class, tucking his hair behind his ears, still way too long and disheveled, making him look like a complete stoner.

Maybe some weed would make Liam chill, IED and all.

“I’ll never understand you straights,” Mason says with a grin.

Theo laughs. Classic Mason.

Liam flushes red, lost for words and unable to meet Mason’s gaze, spluttering half-formed words before settling on, “yeah,” leaving Mason to stare at his retreating form puzzled.

“Well that was weird.”

Theo shrugs, “I guess.”

The other boy raises a brow that Theo knows for a fact is only that well groomed because Tracy and him go get their brows done together, “not what I meant but I suppose you are Liam’s friend and therefore a dumbass.”

“Hey,” Theo protests, “you’re his friend too!”

“But did I-,”

“Don’t,” Theo groans, “let’s pretend that never happened.”

*

“Hey Theo,” Stiles says in the most faux friendly voice he’s ever heard in his life, worse than Tara telling their parents that they’re just going over to Tracy’s house, there and back, “buddy, just the man I’m looking for.”

“Can I help you,” Theo says, raising a brow because Stiles has never sought Theo out before, but he can guess why he would now. If he didn’t know any better, he’d think Stiles was Scott’s actual boyfriend. If Theo hadn’t seen Stiles flirting like crazy with Derek who didn’t look like he’d ever smiled in his life, he’d think that Stiles was Scott’s boyfriend.

“I don’t know,” Stiles replies, “can you?”

Theo shakes his head, walking past the boy.

“So you’re going to the game tonight,” Stiles says, falling into step with Theo, “what am I talking about of course you are, gotta cheer on our captain!”

“Are you trying to give me a shovel talk because I’m pretty sure you suck at this so far and also I’ll probably die before I can enact my evil masterplan of breaking Scott’s heart so Devenford Prep can win.”

Stiles splutters, “That’s not-I wasn’t-Look,” he says eyes narrowed, “We have a plan. We’re all going to stay in Norcal. Allison, Boyd, Danny, and I are going to UC Berkeley. Lydia’s going to Stanford. Cora, Kira, Jackson, and Erica are going to USF, and Scott and Isaac are going to Davis. It’s perfect. And After college we’re all moving into the bay area, get a house and be all full house and shit with Cora’s inheritance kicks in. Okay.We have a plan!”

Theo winces as Stiles gets more and more agitated, his hand rubbing his cheek.

“We have a plan.”

Theo sighs, “I’m not stopping Scott from going to-I’m not taking your best friend away. Chill Stiles.”

“They’re just on a break. Scott and Allison are getting married and he’ll go to vet school and Allison will probably teach french to rich kids and-,”

“Stiles,” Theo says, placing a hand on his shoulder, hoping to calm him down. Senior year must clearly be doing a number on Stiles. “Do you need to go to the nurses office?” Because no matter how much he hates going there, this isn’t about him.

He shakes his head, eyes trained on the ground as he counts his breathes, whole body trembling, “they never do anything to actually help.”

“Budget cuts,” Theo muses because that explains pretty much every issue in public schools.

“Yeah,” Stiles sighs.

“Scott’s still your best friend.”

“But what if he’s not always,” Stiles says, voice cracking and it’s way to early in the morning for this, Theo hasn't even had lunch, the bell’s already rang.

Theo shrugs, “life is change and then you die.”

“Was that supposed to be comforting?”

Theo smirks, “I’ve flatlined and also been called code blue on so. . .”

“That’s horrible,” Stiles says, looking over at him.

He shrugs because he can’t even drink and yet he’s had open heart surgery and whenever he’s stayed overnight at the hospital his mom looks at him with a faraway look like he might die at any second, Tara had hugged him so hard before she’d left, her arms had left bruises around his chest for days after. “And I’m pretty sure that Allison broke up with Scott so maybe you should be threatening her with maiming for ruining your plans?”

“Are you kidding,” Stiles snorts, “Allison has a black belt in krav maga and can shoot a gun! Not to mention Lydia would like castrate me.”

Theo lets out a breathe, relieved that Stiles has a grip on things, looking less shaken by the second, his face still drained of color, hands trembling as he pulls away from Theo.

“See you at the game then.”

Theo is so fucking late to class.

*

“So I heard Stiles was talking to you in the hall today,” Tracy says, munching on seaweed, “do you need me to shank him?”

“Why is violence always your first reaction,” Mason says shaking his head as Corey chokes on his water next to him. Mason smacking him on the back to help him.

“I bet I could take him to,” Tracy says, ignoring Mason, “he’s skinny so he’d go down with a couple of good punches. I mean he’s definitely a squealer.”

“I thought your joker phase was long over I mean Jared Leto ruined it,” Theo groans, remembering how obsessed Tracy had been with that movie, and how many times she’d tried to dye her hair green with cool aid with his help, bullying him into helping her make her joker costume that year.

“Don’t speak that name in front of me.”

“You’re so weird.”

“Have fun dealing with that for the rest of your life,” Mason adds.

“Dying young doesn't sound so bad all of a sudden.”

Corey snickers as Tracy smacks his shoulder.

“That’s a terrible thing to say Theo,” Corey tells him once he’s caught his breath.

Liam slides into the seat next to Tara, his leg tapping the floor as his looks over at Mason, “I think I’m going to puke.”

Tracy scowls, giving Liam the stink eye and crushing another sheet of seaweed into her mouth.

“Pre-game jitters,” Corey says, trying to be polite, trying to make conversation despite the tense atmosphere.

“Yeah,” Liam says, hunching in on himself, smile sheepish as he looks at them, “always.” Theo just wants to reach over and hug him, has always wanted to, but he isn’t like Scott. He’s never let himself do as much. He isn’t naturally tactile, would feel awkward doing so.

“It could be worse,” Theo offers, “you could have wreaked another coaches car.”

“Not helping,” Liam says, shaking his head, “and that was when he benched me, it had nothing to do with the nerves I get before a game.”

“And Devenford prep too,” Mason notes.

Liam scowls, “We have to win or Brett will be a complete asshole about it forever. He already never shuts up about how I got expelled.”

No one comments because Brett might be a dick, but he’s never lorded anything over Liam’s head, that’s all Liam’s angry coated vision working, making everyone the enemy.

“If all else fails you can just hulk out on them,” Tracy shrugs, moving on to biting down on her apple.

“Not helpful,” Mason says, rolling his eyes at Tracy, who smiles beatifically back at him. Tracy and Tara made quite the pair, both the same dark sense of humor, both willing to do anything for the people they loved. It’s not that surprising looking back that they’d hit it off, having grown up together with how often Theo went over to her house and how often she slept over at his.

Liam takes a deep breathe, his hand going to pull strands of hair out, just above his ear where no one would notice unless they were looking. Instinctively, Theo reach out to stop him, his hand wrapping around his wrist and pulling his hand away.

“What’s the worst that could happen? You lose,” Theo says, trying to talk him through it.

“Yeah the first game the homecoming game,” Liam says, eyes wide, his skin clammy in Theo’s grip.

“Aren’t we like three time state champions? One game lost when you guys have like a million other games to make it up. And even if you do lose, there’s always next year.”

Liam nods, closing his eyes, “Hayden isn’t coming.”

“Why not,” Mason asks, nosy as ever.

“She has work.”

“That sucks,” Tracy says.

“We’ll be there,” Theo offers as Liam slumps over, his head resting on the questionably clean cafeteria table.

“I know,” he replies dejectedly. “I was just excited at the thought of having my girlfriend there. Not that you guys aren't enough or anything. That's not what I mean at all it's just she's my first girlfriend and-”

“Do you want me to fight her for you,” Tracy offers him, half smiling.

Liam smiles bitterly, “thanks but that’s a terrible idea, coming from someone who’s always ready to fight.”

“A IED pacifist,” she says, beaming at him, “I love it.”

Liam laughs and Theo feels his stupid sad excuse for a heart melt, his hand still holding onto Liam’s wrist, the contact burning and he doesn’t know if it’s okay, he doesn’t know whats okay anymore.

He feels dirty and awful and gross and he doesn’t get why when he’s never cared that he’s bi, he’s never felt ashamed, but with Liam, with his best friend, it always felt like a betrayal of trust.

Theo lets go.

The bell rings.

“Just channel all that frustration into the game, who cares if you get red carded,” Theo tells Liam as he gets his stuff up to head to calc.

“That's soccer,” Liam says with an offended expression to his face.

*

Scott’s talking to Allison in the hallway on the way to calc, both leaning against the wall, both leaning towards each other, creating a little bubble of them in the sea of students.

Allison is smiling at Scott, pink lips tilted up, brushing hair out of her face and Scott is smiling right back and something feels wrong, clenching in his chest and he shakes the feeling away as Tracy gazes over at him.

“Do you want me to-,”

“Don’t,” he says, feeling a lot heavier than he had just a second ago, reminding himself that Scott’s not really his boyfriend.

Tracy takes his arm in hers, pulling him close, “you should talk to him if it bothers you.”

Theo shakes his head, “It’s Scott. I trust him,” he finds himself says, the lies flowing from his lips easily enough, “and Allison’s his friend it’s not weird.”

Tracy raises an eyebrow at him knowingly.

“It’s not a big deal. Guys and girls can be friends. We had sleepovers didn’t we?”

“Yes but I’m such a big lesbian!”

“You know what I mean,” he says dragging her to calc, “and I mean it. I trust Scott.”

“That’s good,” Tracy tells him, “I’d go crazy if I didn't trust Tara now that she’s on the other side of the country with all those big city girls.”

“Then stop riding my dick.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stiles was totally trying to shovel talk Theo but ended up being comforted lmao. Theo's totally right here btw, Allison did break up with Scott and they /will/ interact next chapter. Liam is trying to be a better friend after being a dick all summer which really was him just being tunnel visioned on hayden. He's that friend that starts dating and never shuts up about it if you see them at all. 
> 
> this was supposed to be the larcrosse game chapter but then that didn't happen but it will. it has too. so that'll be next chapter. 
> 
> Sorry this took so long to write but the beginning was hard to get down but once i was about half way (ugh writers block) it finally started flowing.


	8. the homecoming game

The game is actually really boring and Theo is bordering on falling asleep as he leans on Mason. Tracy had claimed that making her come to the game would be anti-feminist and then had ditched them all, texting him not even half and hour into the game a picture of her laying in his room.

It was evil.

“This is why I never came to any of Liam’s games after the first one,” Theo complains, checking to see if Tara had texted him back.

_raeken_theo: im at a lacrosse game sos_

Oh how the tables had turned.

“Why do you think I brought my battery port,” Mason tells him, “mama didn’t raise no fool.”

He looks down at his measly twenty three percent battery, “let me use your charger.”

“No.”

“How could you say that to me, a dying man,” Theo drawls, “that’s like leaving someone who has cancer. You can’t.”

“You’re not dying,” Mason says shaking his head and shifting so Theo fall off his shoulder, “you’re just being an asshole.”

“Wow,” he deadpans, “some friend you are.”

“Mind if we sit here,” Allison says, amber eyes raking him over, coming up to them along with Lydia, Erica, and Cora.

“Uh,” is Mason’s grade a answer.

“Yeah,” Theo replies, “There’s plenty of room.”

“Thanks,” Allison says taking a seat next to him, brushing her hair behind her ear, “we were going to sit up front but Erica chose to do her essay last minute again and we don’t want the computer screen to distract the boys.” Lydia takes the seat next to her, while Cora and Erica sit in front of them.

Cora doesn’t hesitate to lean back against his legs, throwing her head back to look up at him, “so you survived Scott Shanghaiing you into clock blocking my brother and Stiles.” The grin on the edge of her lips is all sharp edges, but her eyes are warm.

“We sort of bowed out and hid in Scotts room watching Arrested Development,” he admits with a shrug, finding her easier to focus on than Allison, feeling Lydia’s stare digging into his soul.

“Smart boy,” Cora tells him, “Stiles is insane. I keep going back and forth on wether I should tell Derek or not or just let it continue.”

“There’s no way he isn’t aware.”

Allison snorts besides him, giggling.

Lydia replies, “Derek and Scott have the same amount of self awareness.”

“Scott isn’t-,” he finds himself saying. But they know him the best. And Scott can be oblivious, innuendos going right over his head at times.

“Cute,” Erica says, with a smile that might as well be a smirk. There was something hungry behind her deep dark gaze, offset by the beach blonde curls. “Are you going to the part after?”

“Don’t answer her Theo,” Cora cuts in, “she’s not going so she needs to stop being nosy.” It’s clear from the way Erica lightly kicks at her they’re only teasing each other.

“I never actually figured out how the game’s played,” Allison offers, making conversation, “I just sort of wait until the end to see which side is cheering.”

“That’s ridiculously clever,” Mason tells her.

“I just don’t have the school spirit,” Theo admits, “but it’s Scott.”

Allison nods knowingly, “well you can’t say no to Scott. He’s just so earnest and sincere all the time.”

Theo pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth as he nods. Scott isn’t really his boyfriend. Scott loves Allison. And it isn’t hard to see why with her here in front of him.

“He wears his heart on his sleeve,” she notes, “it can be a lot to deal with all the time.”

“Is that why-,” he trails off, trying not to be bitter about nothing.

Allison fixes her gaze on his. He can tell Lydia’s listening in from the corner of his eye. She sighs, “this is going to sound stupid. Or maybe it won’t, I don’t know you well enough to know whether you’ll understand-,”

“And yet you’re telling me,” he goes, shooting himself in the foot.

Allison laughs breathlessly, “well when you put it that way.” She shakes her head, closing her yes for a second before looking over at him again, “We dated since eI moved here. Since freshman year and Scott is-was my first serious boyfriend. I just felt that it would be nice to be single for my last year of high school. To go into adulthood as my own person and take some time for myself. It’s not that I don’t love Scott. He’s my first everything but also one of my best friends. But I had to do what’s right for me.”

“I get that,” Theo tells her. “I mean understand where you’re coming from even though I don’t get why you’d ever break up with someone if you love them.” He can’t think of why anyone would ever want to break up with Scott. He was so kind and caring and attentive. It was like he had a sixth sense for when Theo was too tired to carry his backpack and just wordlessly carried it for him without making Theo feel any less for always feeling tired and weak and as much of a failure as his heart. Scott who texted Theo good morning even on the weekdays when Theo picked him up form school.

It was dumb and sweet. Even someone as bitter as he was could admit that.

She shrugs, chuckling again, “at least you’re honest. Kira thought I was crazy too, but I want to learn to be alone. I don’t know. But, it felt right and I don’t regret it.”

“You do you.”

The time runs out and the Beacon Hills lacrosse team starts shouting and celebrating.

“Guess we know who won,” Mason says, turning to look at Allison who smiles wide, laughing.

*

He pulls the sleeves of his hoodie downs he walks down with Mason, Erica ditching her laptop to run down and jump into Vernon’s arms. Over to where the boys were celebrating.

Scott take off his helmet, smiling widely as people congratulate him, making his way over to Theo as soon as he spots him and wrapping his arms around him, pressing him against his warm sweaty body. For a second Theo thinks Scott’s going to kiss him right there and then, eyes sparkling with happiness, but then he just presses their foreheads against each other.

“So you’re pretty good at lacrosse,” Theo whispers to him.

It gets the reaction Theo wanted, Scott laughing against him. “I’m okay.”

“Heard there’s a party after this.”

His eyes widen, lips drawn as concern replaces the winning smiles, “you don’t have to come if you don’t want to. We could go get boba or something,” which is such a Scott thing to say. He’s just won a homecoming game and yet he’s still making sure Theo’s okay with all of this.

It makes him die a little on the inside when he realizes that Scott isn’t going to get what he wants. Allison’s happy being single. He can’t crush Scotts hopes though.

He chuckles, shaking his head, “No, it’s not that. I’d love to go to the party with you.”

“Awesome,” Scott says, pulling away, high giving Danny as he passes by, “let me go shower and change okay.”

“Okay.”

*

“I never would’ve taken you to be shy about PDA Raeken,” Mason whispers into his ear, clapping his shoulder before running off with Corey before he can react.

*

“I’m coming with you,” Cora says, falling into step with him as Malia Tate runs up to them.

“Don’t tell me I missed everything,” she says not sounding very sorry at all.

“Malia,” Cora grins, grabbing her arm, “you absolute legend, missing the whole game and only coming to the after party.”

“My sister had a dance recital,” Malia tells them both, “and I wasn’t going to miss that to see boys chase after a ball.”

“Isn’t that every sport though,” Theo smirks.

Malia points at him, “yes it is! I’ve been saying that for years. Theo ,right? Scott’s boyfriend.”

It’s still so weird to hear out loud. Scott’s boyfriend. Theo. Scott’s boyfriend. Theo, Scott’s _fake_ boyfriend.

“Yeah.”

Cora snorts, shaking her head, “walking and talking people, I want to go and destroy everyone at beer pong.”

“And dancing,” Malia tells Cora, grinning at the other girl.

Cora groans, “no, you always want to spend the whole night dancing. Make Kira dance with you.”

“Oh I will! You’ll dance with me too won’t you Theo,” she asks him, raining her brows suggestively.

He laughs, “only if you promise not to step on my feet.”

“Okay,” she smirks, “but no promises that I won’t stomp on them.”

“Ouch.”

They make it to the car and exchange numbers as they wait for Scott to finish showering. Who shows up and gets kicked into the back seat for once, his hand running up Theo’s “now I know how Tracy feels,” he says with a twinkle in his eyes. And just like that they have private jokes now.

Easy. Natural.

He’s not Theo’s real boyfriend.

This is all just an act that will end as soon as Scott finds out Allison has no intentions of getting back together.

*

It’s Theo’s first party. Not that anyone needs to know that.

He knows Tara used to go to parties during her junior year and maybe even last year, but she’d always lie as she snuck in through his window and curled up next to him, breath smelling of cheap beer.

And Liam-

Theo tries to get out of his head and just enjoy the moment, letting Scott pull him along, stupid happy as he looks at their intertwined hands, ignoring the pounding in his head.

Malia and Cora race up ahead, opening the door with a practiced ease, “Jackson’s parents are ridiculously cool,” Malia tells him, with a devil may care smile, “they let him have parties and alcohol.”

“It’s cause they’re white. White people always want to be friends with their kids” Cora adds sagely, “they’d rather know he’s drinking then have him do it behind their backs.”

“Hey,” Scott protests, “you stole that from fresh off the boat!”

“Am I wrong!”

“My dad would kill me if he knew I was drinking tonight,” Malia muses.

Cora fist pumps into the air with an air of severity that has Theo and Scott bust out laught, “we’re going to get fucked up!”

“Wait,” Scott starts, “am I the designated driver? Because I don’t want to be the designated driver,” he tells them.

“Uber exists stupid,” Malia says bumping against him before grabbing Cora and disappearing into the crowd that’s already formed. What seems to be the entire senior class has packed into Jackson’s home, a boy he knows by reputation alone. Liam has always said he’s an asshole.

But he’s also Scott’s friend so he can’t possibly be that bad.

“Do you want to get something to drink,” Scott says, running a hand behind his head, flustered as they move through the edges of the crowd thats formed a dance party in the living room.

Jackson’s house is huge. Tall ceilings and the living room is easily the size of two or three of Theo’s own living room. He can spy the kitchen and the marble countertops. Then there’s the grand staircase leading to the second floor. But there’s enough wear to the couches and books stacked on the coffee table thats been pushed to the side that makes it homey.

“Let’s dance first,” he says instead, smirking up at Scott who burns crimson even in the dim light. It’s with more confidence than he actually feels that he pulls Scott towards him, arms wrapping around his neck loosely.

Scott’s eyes going wide with surprise at Theo’s motions.

The music seems to all be late 2000s dance music, Flo Rider and Kesha singing dumb catchy lyrics to even catchier music, making this all easier for Theo to do, to dance with Scott, to dance against him, barely any room between them.

After a moment’s hesitation, Scott smiles, eyes dark as he looks at Theo, both moving to the beat, all too aware of his hands around Scott’s neck, every movement, every brush of dark skin against his fingers was intimate, sending tingles throughout his body.

Bitter desire pooling in the base of his throat, in the pit of his stomach.

“The fame monster still goes all these years later,” Theo whispers against Scott’s ear, trying to make himself heard over the loud beat of the music.

Scott laughs, shoulders shaking with laughter against Theo, warmth flooding through his body at the sound, the way Scott’s shirt stenches out around his biceps, the crinkling of his eyes when he laughs.

“Lady Gaga invented gay rights when she released Born This Way,” Theo says with a smirk against his earlobe, feeling daring in the privacy of the dance floor, remembering how Scott had looked, eyes dark and wanting and about to kiss him after the game.

He should’ve said he way okay with kissing.

He never should’ve agreed to this.

Scott snorts, head tilting towards Theo’s, eyes a breath apart, “Lady Gaga threw the first brick at Stonewall.”

This time it’s Theo that laughs, feels so light here with him, dancing to music he’d hear on the radio when he was in middle school, might have even played at his middle school dances, even with the ache building up in his bones.

Here with Scott, everything so easy and fun.

“Let’s get a drink,” Scott says, beads of sweat forming on his brow. Heat hot and heavy inside with all the people dancing, walking around with red solo cups, taking selfies around the place.

Distantly he wonders if Liam’s around here somewhere.

He hadn’t even noticed where he’d gone to after the game.

“Okay,” Theo says, letting go of Scott and following him, high giving people as they congratulate Scott and Scott grins, still riding his high from winning the homecoming game. Shirt riding up to expose skin and his happy trail as he bro-hugs his team members as they head to the kitchen.

Isaac and Cora have set up a game of beer pong on the very expensive looking dinning table, cherry red and lined with a pyramid layout of red solo cups.

“Can I interest you in some beer pong,” Isaac says grinning widely, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, cheeks as red as the solo cups

Cora snorts, “I’ll smoke you all.”

“Try me!”

“You’re on Lahey!”

Scott rolls his eyes, shrugging as he catches Theo’s gaze, “any preference?”

Theo has never had any alcohol before in his life. The closest was when they’d gone to visit his grandparent son the east coast for christmas and he’d gotten a sip of champagne before his mother could stop his grandfather. So he has no actual clue what drinks there might be.

Theo’s not a little bitch though, so he’s not about to admit that.

“Anything really,” Theo shrugs nonchalantly, “just not beer.”

“Yesss,” Isaac exclaims, clapping him in the back hard enough to make him wince, “beer sucks!”

“You’re just a baby,” Cora sneers.

“Or you need a lime,” adds Scott.

“There’s vodka and juice,” Isaac tells Theo, already moving to the fridge and glaring the people into moving out of his way, “or do you want tequila with coke?”

“Vodka and juice,” Theo answers, matching Isaacs grin.

“I heard you made Stiles cry.” Isaac points at Theo with the cranberry juice bottle. “And anyone who makes Stiles cry is my friend. My bro.”

“I’m so posting this on snapchat,” Cora says from behind her phone.

“That’s not exactly what happened.”

“Shhh,” Isaac says sushing him, handing him a cup full of juice and a generous portion of vodka, “let me enjoy the moment.”

“One of these days you two are going to murder each other,” Cora notes, drowning her own cup with ease.

“They’ve already tried,” Scott says far too fondly, “they wrestled each other on the stairs for the playstation controller.”

“I was about to beat Stiles score,” Isaac grumbles.

Theo takes a careful sip of his own, surprised at how little he tastes of the vodka, only the bitter aftertaste on his tongue lets him know its there.

“I’m going to go find some good weed,” Cora announces, “and Erica,” as she grabs Issac and drags him along with herewith only minimal complaints.

Scott looks up at Theo from below dark lashes and breaks into giggles as he watches Theo.

“What,” asks Theo shyly, feeling at a loss for once, too many thoughts and emotions racing through his head, heart pounding in his chest, hummingbird fast and not from failing as it usually did.

“Nothing,” Scott says grinning, his gaze pinned on Theo, heat building under his skin.

Theo drinks down his cup full of vodka and winces as it burns down his throat.

Scott chuckles.

“Fuck off.”

*

They head outside, the wind cold on his too hot skin.

Theo sighs, looking out at the pool illuminated by fairy lights, rocks artfully surrounding the edges. The grass is green even in the California drought.

The full moon is high in the sky.

The stars swim in his eyes and he stumbles as Scott slows down, walking aimlessly besides him

“There used to be a swing here,” Scott muses, gaze traveling to the big tree in the backyard, “but then Jackson and Stiles tried to jump off from there into the pool and it got cut down.”

“That sucks,” Theo says not caring very much at all.

“Yeah,” Scott replies, looking lazily over at Theo and Theo might hit him if he keeps looking at him like that and not doing anything, yearning twisting in his gut, bitterness and wanting blooming in his mouth as he looks over at Scott.

The ground spins under him, bones both aching and weightless.

Oh, Theo realizes a second too late and blacks out.

*

“Why are we laying on the floor,” Theo asks Scott, who’s laying right next to him, the amber of his eyes clear this close. Their faces only inches apart, a small distance really. Theo swallows hard.

“You passed out,” Scott says gently, “so I laid down next to you so people would think we were just chilling.”

Theo snorts,”you’re so dumb,” and then because he’s right and Scott is so dumb and might never get the hint especially after Theo told him not to, he leans over and kisses Scott just like he had a month ago. His own lips feel cold against Scott’s warm soft lips, breath tickling Theo’s skin.

Eyes fluttering closed.

Head tilting, Scott’s kissing him back after a moment, his hand coming up to cup Theo’s cheek, warm, rubbing circles into his skin.

It sends shivers down Theo’s back.

His head’s still pounding and the stars spin as Theo pulls away reluctantly, laying back on the damp grass.

“Oh,” Hayden says giggling into Liam’s shoulder, “sorry we thought there was no one over here.”

Theo wants to die a little, and judging by how bad his head’s pounding he just might. God he wants to bash his own head in.

“It’s no problem,” Scott says, a hand on Theo’s back to help him up which he can’t refuse, feeling unsteady on his own feet. “We were just leaving.”

Liam looks at him questioningly, something raw in his eyes that makes Theo’s stomach twist.

“I think I’m going to throw up,” Theo mumbles so that only Scott hears.

“Hospital?”

“Yeah,” he says resigned to his fate.

He makes it to the curb before throwing up.

*

_ no1_raeken: ew gross  _

_ no1_raeken: u brought this on urself what with crushing on jocks _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dammit hayden and liam. a few seconds more and theo and scott would've been like i love u man. oh well. at least theo's finally going to the doctors like he shouldve since chapter 1. hope u enjoyed all the interactions and liked allison in here. she's like my no 1 or no 2 teen wolf character tbh tbh.


	9. lightning never strikes the same place twice?

Scott leaves when his parents finally get to the hospital, Theo already hooked up to machines and feeling too light headed to concentrate on what’s being said around him, slipping out quietly and probably feeling guilty. It pains Theo’s heart to see him go. He wants to tell him. . .

Theo immediately misses the warmth of Scott’s hand in his own, solid and reassuring as his parents take charge, demanding answers and he lets out a breath relieved to know that someone here knows what they’re doing. His breaths are short and shallow and no matter what he does he doesn’t feel like he’s getting enough air, the cold stale hospital air seeping into his bones despite his sweater.

“Can I at least get a blanket if I’m dying,” he says, meaning to sound light, but his voice breaks on the last word.

“Don’t say that,” his mom says, running a hand through his hair and throwing a blanket over his shoulders that smells of laundry detergent and pine, home. “And can someone please get my son oxygen mask or tubes or something! He can’t-,”

“I’m fine mom,” Theo mumbles, vision fuzzy as he curls up into his side, “I just want to take a nap.”

“Of course Teddy,” she tells him, “rest, I’ll be right here besides you.”

And with that, Theo lets his eyes slide close and sleeps despite the ache in his chest.

*

The clock reads sixteen past four in the morning when he wakes up.

“Is it okay if I’m here,” Liam says, standing awkwardly by the door, “I know we’re not on the best of terms but I ran here as soon as my dad told me you’d been checked in. I had to know you were okay.”

“I’ve been worse,” Theo says, shifting so he’s closer to sitting then laying down.

“Your mom ran to get coffee and you dad said he was getting a few things from your house,” Liam tells him, “so I offered to stay here so you wouldn’t be alone.”

“Even though you’re not supposed to be here,” Theo teases.

“Like that’s ever stopped me before,” Liam retorts easily.

“Well then don’t be a stranger,” Theo says, “sit down, I don’t bite.”

“I’m hardly scared of you,” Liam says as he moves to sit in the chair by Theo’s side, “you regularly faint.”

“Fuck off.”

They both laugh, pain stinging up his side, Theo grimaces. It’s not as bad as before and he can breathe pretty well now, with the help on tubes that always make him feel like the doomed protagonist of some made for tv movie.

“Does it hurt much?”

“A little,” Theo mutters, “I sort of passed out before the doctors figured out what new fun drugs to give me.”

“You freaking damsel,” Liam says, laughing when Theo flushes red, scowling at Liam.

“Theo,” Liam says carefully, eyes going to the door, making sure that no one was coming in yet, hands shoved into his sweater pockets.

Theo tenses. He was hoping that Liam wouldn’t bring anything up. That they could just pretend everything was fine for his benefit after all he’d nearly died tonight. The universe could give him a break.

Now he didn’t even know where things stood with Scott. They’d kissed. Or well, Theo had kissed him. Not that Scott hadn’t kissed him back, even if it was only for a second, and maybe he just went along with it. Maybe Scott was too nice to-he felt like he’d ruined everything.

Scott was in love with Allison. Not him.

They weren’t really dating, but at least Theo had Scott’s friendship.

Scott probably would talk to him later, explain things, give him biting looks. But at least this whole fake relationship would be over. And Theo would hate the ernest pity in Scott’s eyes, but at least Scott wouldn’t hate him.

And then-

Everything was so messed up.

“Yeah,” he responds after a long pause, looking at Liam’s hunched form sitting on the edge of the plastic chair, lower lip between his teeth.

“How did you know you were gay? If you are or you know . . .bi I don’t know? It doesn’t really matter to me but-,”

“Liam,” Theo smiles fondly as Liam flusters for words.

“How did you know you liked guys?” Liam’s looks at Theo expectantly, fingers combing through his hair nervously. His cheeks are pink, feverish in the harsh hospital light.

There's a vulnerability to Liam that has Theo torn between making fun of him and protecting him. His oldest and closest friend, who isn't even his best friend.

He shrugs, “I like you so I like guys. It wasn't a big thing for me.” It's climactic but honest. Maybe it was from seeing Tara so open and nonchalant about being gay that it was never a big deal to Theo.

No. Having a crush on someone at all was a bigger deal to him. He'd never really thought of anyone like that.

Sure he'd jerked off, but it wasn't the same as liking someone, as wanting to be around someone all the time because they made you feel better by just being around them.

“Just like that,” Liam says, head bobbing before turning, pinning his gaze on Theo, searching for something Theo can't give him. Liam swallows thickly, clear blue eyes fluttering shut as he takes a deep breathe.

“I mean Tara had already come out. Literally bought a sheet cake with the money she'd gotten babysitting and little poppers,” Theo starts, wanting to fill the awkward silence of Liam's searching gaze, “and our parents were...I don’t think they were thrilled,” he says carefully. He’s pretty sure most parent, no matter how liberal never really think that their child could be gay or ill or anything other than normal, whatever that meant. “But they were pretty supportive right off the bat and dad made this awful joke about having given her the wrong talk.”  

At the time, Theo had only a vague idea of what being gay was, what it meant in the context of the world at large. He hadn’t even liked anyone at that point, how could he, surrounded by doctors and nurses and Theo could recognize that Megan Fox was hot but that was so different from the way he liked Liam.

“Why,” he wonders out loud, his gaze going to Liam, brow furrowed. Why sounds as harsh and heavy at the fluorescent light has always made him feel. All out of sorts.

“I-I’m not sure,” Liam utters softly, not merely looking at Theo than seeing him. It’s a soft pressure in his ribcage, while he lays in bed in nothing but a hospital gown and sweatpants that his parents had brought, always ready no matter how long the periods between hospital visits had grown to. It makes him feel self conscious in a way he’s been careful to avoid for so long, hiding behind smirks and sarcastic remarks. “I’ve just been think.”

He fidgets in the hospital chair, leaning closer to Theo.

“Really Liam,” Theo teases, unable to help himself, “that’s a first.”

“Shut up,” Liam snaps with no real bite. “I’ve just been thinking about a lot of things that-that I didn’t want or maybe even realize, until recently.”

Theo’s heart skips a beat, fluttering wildly in his chest despite the strain from earlier. His round table of doctors have always said that bouncing back quickly is a good sign.

“And,” he prompts carefully, unable to keep the want from his voice.

“I don’t know,” Liam states, sighing wistfully, the undercurrent of annoyance that so easily turns to rage in his eyes. “I don’t know.”

Theo doesn’t know what to do with that.

Then Liam’s leaning over and kissing him and he really doesn't know what to do, the stale bitter taste of beer on his lips, hands trembling as he clutches Theo’s jaw. There's a tremble to his fingers, damp and unsure and it’s _Liam._

Liam is kissing him.

He'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought about it, zoned out as Liam talked lacrosse.

Liam is kissing him!

“Is this okay?” he whispers against Theo’s lips.

Before Theo can form a coherent thought, the heart monitor goes off, it’s beeps like nails on chalkboard and they spring apart as the nurses rush in to check all his vitals.  

Liam flushes scarlett even as Theo laughs at how ridiculous the whole thing is.

“Please try to take deep breaths Mr. Raeken,” one of his nurses scolds. Alma, who is almost always in paddington bear scrubs she’d bought in London. “I need to check your heart beat.”

Theo can’t stop laughing though, “I’m trying,” he protests even though he’s really not.

*

He spends the better part of the week in the hospital because his mom makes him stay just in case the change in his prescription doesn’t take to him well. It’s too much and Theo is glad to be back in school.

Corey and Mason had dropped his work off, staying for a bit while Mason rambled on and on about everything that had happened at school, which wasn't much and yet Mason made it seem like a complete reality show and this was his confessional.

All week he'd laid in the hospital bed, trying to think what he should do.

Scott had kissed him, and Theo had kissed him. Had wanted to kiss him, the warm hot want welling up inside his chest. He'd wanted to keep on kissing him. Butterflies forming in his stomach at the thought of getting to kiss him again, and yet-

They weren't really dating.

There was a line.

Scott wants Allison. He's pretty sure. That's what this whole thing was about. Scott loves Allison?

But then why had he-

Theo’s lost and he can't go to Corey or Mason because everything's all lies and shit Theo never should have said yes. Not to mention Mason is also Liam's friend and he doubts he could keep things to himself for long. He was so stupid to think this would be a good idea but he'd panicked and Scott was-he was Scott.

With his happy puppy smile and warm brown eyes how could he say no.

And now Liam.

Theos gut twists at the thought. Liam had kissed him and it had been everything he had yearned for. Had thought many times about, had felt like he was betraying Liam, who had no clue, when they spent so much time together, when Liam napped in his bed trustingly.

It was dumb to feel that way, but Theo couldn't help it.

And now just when he thought he was getting over his hopeless crush on Liam, when they were moving past it, all out in the open now, Liam goes and messes everything up.

He was dating Hayden and yet he'd kissed Theo. Kissed Theo and-and Theo didn't know what to think. Was Liam gay? Was he figuring things out? Was Theo just convenient for him? Was he just convenient for Scott?

Theo almost wished he had to spend another week in the hospital just so he wouldn't have to see anyone.

Almost.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its been a hot sec, but i promise ill finish this story. soon. thank you!


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